


Hell can wait

by rainbowdots888



Category: Kanjani8 (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst, Boys In Love, Fantasy, Investigations, M/M, Mystery, Past Character Death, Romance, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-24
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-11-04 13:04:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 25,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10991499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowdots888/pseuds/rainbowdots888
Summary: "We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell."





	1. The Burn

The night was dark. The darkest he had ever seen in his thirty or so little years spent on this planet. So dark that he didn't even recognize the buildings around him, once the dim lights of the evening had been turned off. It was not him to get scared with nothing, really, and night was basically nothing when you had to work on the worst murder cases the country knew of. But that night, walking along the empty and gloomy streets of the city, Ryo was afraid.

A slithering fear was taking over his senses, climbing from his painfully pulsating feet to his heart. The day had been long, so very long... And now he feared that the night would be too short. A loud bang rang out in a nearby alley and he jumped aside, holding his chest in surprise. In the silence that followed, he snickered, loud enough to reassure himself, to disempower the fear.

“You're such a dumbass... It was just a cat.” He murmured to himself, straightening his working suit. Something howled painfully in the alley where the previous noise had came from, before the terrifying sound died abruptly, leaving its nerve-racking echo travel from a brick facade to another like a morbid ping pong game. “Well, maybe not _just_ a cat...”

His legs felt weak as he hurried towards the avenue, where the lights were still on, blinding but immensely reassuring. Once there, drowned in the crowds, his heartbeat finally slowed down to normal and he could stop for a second to catch his breath.

_Must be the last case... this carnage we've seen yesterday. The job starts to get on my nerves..._

All of a sudden he felt as if someone was stabbing his back with a white hot poker. It hurt and it burnt recklessly, drilling a fire hole between his shoulder blades and making him fall on his knees under the scornful look of the passers by. Ryo turned his head for a second, helplessly, to identify the threat, to understand if he had been just shot or maybe stabbed... but his eyes met nothing strange, only seeing the immense crowd moving around him like a sickening anthill. The stinging pain grew fainter and he could stand again, brushing his trousers automatically like the good guy his mom had taught him to be. He turned again, just to check one last time and there it was, in the middle of those disembodied beings strolling around, this unmoving and threatening silhouette, perfectly still. And two burning eyes were drilling through his soul this time, orbs that were two red flames spreading the fire into his head, making the world spin around until he fell to the floor for good and lost consciousness.

****************

“Oy, Nishikido! Where were you this morning when we needed you here? I called you maybe fifty times on that damn thing that's called a telephone. Yes?”

The captain voice was so loud that it made his skull ring, hurting his brain even more. He had just pushed the double door that led to his district's precinct after a night spent unconscious on the sidewalk, a few blocks from there. He had to be looking so disheveled and dirty that the pretty secretary at the reception desk had deeply frowned in disgust, despite her obvious and usual liking for him.

“Captain... I...” He searched for his phone in his pockets, without any success. Even his wallet had vanished from them, most likely stolen while he was unconscious. “Shit. They ripped everything off me when...”

“When what? And what's that look even? I've never seen you being so... strange. You okay?”

“No, I'm not. I think someone did … something to me. 'tis difficult to explain but I kinda passed out last night. Outside that is.”

His memory chose that exact moment to send him back on that sidewalk, in front of the burning eyes that had stolen his soul. The burn was revived for a second and he wailed in pain, desperately holding his chest. His colleagues that had remained silent until then stood up and ran to support him and help him to the nearest seat.

“What the heck with him? Bring him to the doctor, now!” Ryo heard his captain scream at them. He felt strong hands lift him up from his chair and carry him through the corridors, towards the forensic office. His ragged breath was painfully drawn out of his lungs and every gulp of air burnt more than the previous one. He would have cried of pain if it wasn't for the evident weakness of his body.

The doctor examined him thoroughly and tried to speak to him, only he couldn't respond, lost in the daze that had seized him. 

“His vital functions are okay, nothing's wrong. No need to send him to a hospital, he's healthy and strong, maybe just a little tired...” reported the doctor to someone else on the phone with his custom blasé tone. Ryo felt his eyes close and slumber take over him on the examining table, in the comforting atmosphere of the room he knew like his own.

When he woke up there, a few hours later, he felt way better and the whole misfortune was almost forgotten. He went to the showers, refreshed himself with the cold stream all over his body and borrowed a clean suit to his favorite colleague, who was just a tad smaller than him. A coffee to go and he was ready to face the captain, and finally answer all his questions.

*****************

“So... How do you feel?”

“Rested. Thanks.”

“Okay, I've assigned two officers to your case. I want to know what has happened last night. Were you drunk?”

“No. I've not drunk a single drop of alcohol since... Well, since Yumi's death.” 

“Even last night, not even a beer?”

“No, Captain, not even a beer. I was just having a walk after the awful murder we've discovered lately. I needed air. And suddenly, it's like everything around became hostile. And I saw that... thing, those flaming eyes piercing through my heart and I passed out. When I woke up, I came directly here... I think.”

The Captain was seated behind his huge wooden desk, half hidden beneath hundreds of files piled up in precarious towers made of paper. He gave a doubtful look at his subordinate and cleared his throat.

“Ryo... You should have taken some rest after what has happened last year. See where we're at, now. You're clocking in looking awful, you're ripped off your things in the street, you're fainting, screaming in my precinct and then justify all this with I don't know what kind of fishy excuse when you could just confess that you've had a drink or two. Eyes in flames? Monster or something? Please spare me that nonsense...”

“I didn't drink. I know what I've seen. And call it what you want but the officers you named to investigate won't find a damn thing. It came for me. And it will come again.”

“Stop, now. Considering your perfect service until now, I will forget about today and move forward. You should do the same.”

“Thank you, Captain.” Ryo bowed curtly and turned to leave the room.

“Ah. Ryo. If you feel better, before leaving, I'd like you to go to the cells and let that guy out.” He threw a single sheet of paper that he had been holding all the time on the table. A few information and a photo were printed on it.

“Who's that?” He took the paper and looked at the picture. No name, no age, nothing except for a short physical description and the reason for the arrest. 

_Wandering. Are we throwing people in jail for that, now?_

“Someone an officer found walking around here last night. He looked 'shifty' he said. No papers, no money, and he hasn't said a word. We don't have a crumb of a proof that he was doing something wrong, so he's out. And you as well. Take a rest. Two days should be enough.”

****************

Ryo slowly went down the stairs to the cells and asked the policeman on duty to open the door of the man he had to release. The light was out and it was freezing cold in the cramped room, when it was actually summer hot outside.

“How come it's so cold in here?” He asked the officer next to him.

“'Don't know, Nishikido san, the sun comes through that window all day and usually, it's way too hot in here.”

The prisoner was lying on his side on the concrete floor and didn't move an inch. His eyes were closed and his wrists taken between his knees, giving him the look of a famished child. 

“Hey!” Ryo called, “Stand up! You're free.” He took a cautious step towards the lying body and softly poked at it with the tip of his shoe.

“Is he dead?” Asked the officer, the fear showing in his voice.

The lying man opened his eyes slowly and looked at Ryo with a soft smile. He stood up gradually, stretching his limbs one after another, revealing his real stature in the process. The man was way taller than Ryo and looked way stronger too, a striking contrast with the image he had given out when they had opened the door.

“I'm alive” He said with a very deep and steady voice. The stranger nonchalantly walked past Ryo and just before reaching the door turned to look straight at him. His brown eyes were full of light, like a small and warm campfire, reflecting the smile that had formed on his mouth. “And so are you, Ryo.”


	2. His Voice

The city lights were coming in through the window, flickering red green and blue at an insane rhythm on the papers spread at Ryo's feet. He was seated on his old rug, wearing only sweatpants and scratching his head in confusion at the tiny writings that filled the files before his eyes. Some pictures stood out among the documents, that he had conveniently placed in order to hide the goriest details of the crime scenes he was studying.

 

Seeing the slaughter once was already more than enough, especially for the last case that kept him busy. Usually, adults were the victims of the nastiest murderers out there, in the metropolis jungle. But for a few months already, dead children had been regularly discovered and he couldn't sleep properly anymore, hunted by nightmares and regrets. Regrets for not having been able to stop the culprit, to have failed to find him before he killed again, relentlessly, every time more cruel and elusive.

 

“Who are you, fucker?” He said out loud, only for the blank walls of his small apartment to hear. He had to go back to work on the morning after two days far from the precinct, spent reading endlessly all the files, locked up in his room. Two days without much sleep, and it was for the better because his nights were haunted. In his dreams, the ghosts of all those children came to him and asked for help, crying and begging and he couldn't stand their cries for long, waking up in sweat, his body half off the bed. But they were not the only ones disrupting his sleep: the flaming eyes had returned, every time hotter and more painful, leaving him drenched with his own tears, screaming in panic. Despite what the Captain had said, Ryo was certain that they existed, those terrible red orbs following him even into the depths of his soul. It was no nonsense. It was truth. Something wanted him dead for sure and was about to succeed. Or maybe was he slowly turning mad, his long mourning and rough job finally winning over his sanity.

 

He lied back against the sofa's seat, sighing deeply. His head fell backwards, resting on the cushion for a few seconds of peace. He had loved the moments he'd shared with Yumi back then, when she was sitting on the sofa and he would let his head find the comforting warmth of her lap. Her delicate fingers would brush his hair softly and he would forget everything that was nasty in this world, lulled to inner peace by her love. She was the sun. His sun. But she had died one day, she'd left him alone among the corpses, deep in the darkness of a world in which she didn't shine anymore. He could almost feel her nails slightly scratching his scalp and her mouth grazing the tired frown on his forehead. Those memories were painful but somehow they were also fading into nothingness. Yumi belonged to the dead now, to the other side.

 

_I'm alive. And so are you, Ryo._

 

He opened his eyes in surprise, suddenly remembering the weird guy he'd freed from the cells. Those were the only words he'd said to him, smiling peacefully as if he'd known Ryo for years. He had called him by his name. Why? How, even?

 

“I'm more dead than alive...” He answered to the memory of the prisoner, feeling his heart clench painfully. “How come you knew my name? Who are you?”.

 

Ryo chuckled and the sound of his sour little laugh gave him a nausea so powerful he had to sit back up to catch his breath. That man, that strange human being he had met seemed to know more on him than he knew himself. It was unsettling. It was the weirdest small event in his life made of weird days, weeks, months and years.

 

He grabbed a photo frame that was sitting on the coffee table. A colorful one, with a black and white photography in it. Two persons smiling, a restaurant and their hands intertwined lovingly. That was his life before Yumi's death... Who he was then. He opened the frame, picked the photo up from its place and crumpled it in his contracted fist. When the tears eventually stopped, and his chest hurt too much from sobbing, he stood up and went to bed.

 

For the first time in months, he slept peacefully that night, clenching in his right hand the torn picture he had taken one happy day, so long ago, of him and his wife on their honeymoon trip.

 

****************  
  
The light outside was blinding but the complete night he had just had helped Ryo stepping into the street with confidence. No ghosts, no flames licking his soul: his sleep had been perfect or at least relaxing, which was a miracle. He left his building behind without hesitation and decided to walk to the precinct, enjoying the soft air and the nice hubbub of life.

 

He even surprised himself singing a popular tune on his way, wondering why he was so cheerful in the first place. That is, until he felt the infamous stabbing in his back again, that burning hole being drilled through his flesh and bones, stealing his breath away. He grabbed a lamp pole and breathed deeply, trying to soothe the burn and steady himself. He wouldn't faint again, it was out of the question. He lifted his eyes slowly, conscious that the burning eyes were approaching, that the threat was there almost touching him, so close that his skin had started to redden under their deadly stare. Like the very first time, at first, he saw nothing weird, just the usual passersby too busy with their little lives to pay attention. But when he squinted, when he really focused on what he was looking for, suddenly it became visible. That thing that had followed him, that monster that was feasting on his soul since he had surprised it in the back alley near the precinct.

 

Its eyes were burning but its shape was utterly human. Utterly beautiful and weird also, speaking to Ryo's mind without real words. The sound of its voice was taking over his trembling self, filling every hole of pain and every pulsating vein in him. A voice so deep and so soothing he wanted to snuggle into it like in a bed of feathers and see his sufferings disintegrate in a thousand insignificant pieces.

 

_Breathe, and the pain will go. You're still alive, Ryo. You're a miracle._

 

The stranger that he had met in the precinct cells took a few steps and approached him, reaching out with his large hand to touch Ryo's shoulder. His face was delicate, almost feminine, crowned with a thick and curly black mane, barely masculinized with a thin but messy mustache. His eyes were still burning but the flames were not painful anymore, just wonderfully warm, so attractive that Ryo let his fingers run on the other's cheeks to caress the source of this newfound wellness.

 

“Who are you?” He said, between to ragged breaths, not sure of being still alive.

 

_It doesn't matter who I am, for now. But you... Do you want the Gift, Ryo?_

 

“I don't know... What are you talking about? What are you?”

 

The beautiful face suddenly changed, altered by surprise as flaming tears started rolling down its incandescent orbs. He looked around swiftly, obviously afraid, and backed off slowly until Ryo couldn't feel the velvety touch of his skin under the tip of his fingers anymore.

 

 _I have to go. Remember... The Gift is yours. You're my chosen one. Be careful,_ He _wants you too._

 

And before Ryo could even pronounce a word of complaint, the other was gone and the harrowing pain returned, leaving him kneeling on the sidewalk, out of breath.

 

*****************  
  
Ryo's colleague greeted him with the nicest of smiles when he opened the door of their office.

 

“Hi, Ryo! How are you doing today? Better?”

 

“I'm okay Sho-chan, thanks... Oh, I forgot your suit at home. I'll return it tomorrow, I'm sorry.”

 

“No problem! I don't need it now, you know. I was really worried for you, I tried to call but Murakami-san told me they've stolen your phone as well...”

 

“Yes. They've taken everything...” Ryo sat heavily on his chair. “... even my sanity”, he finished in a breath.

 

“If you need anything, please tell me. You have friends, Ryo, let us help you.”

 

“Thank you. What I really need is to find that fucker we've been hunting for months, before I...”

 

 _Before I die,_ He thought, restraining himself from saying it out loud. His friend would have panicked and if there was one being on this planet he didn't want to hurt, it was Shota. His friend had been there, all the time when Yumi was sick, when he couldn't deal with her sufferings anymore and needed a shoulder to cry on. He was there, next to him at the funeral, his steady little hand placed between his shoulder blades to keep him from falling in front of everyone assembled.

 

If Ryo had to die soon, he hoped that his friend wouldn't learn about his death, never. He was worthy of all the happiness in the world.

 

“Yes, I know... Ryo... We've found bodies again, last night. Near your place actually.” Said Shota with a small voice, as if he wanted to spare his colleague of the terrible news. “Two adults and a child. A family... again.”

 

He threw a file on the desk between them, his face now serious. Ryo took it and thumbed through the pages, seeing the same hints written all over again. Dead bodies, torn in the most terrible way, terrified faces and the water running down the windows as if thick ice had melted for hours. He closed the file and put it down.

 

“It's him. Again.”

 

“Yes... It's the sixth murder of that sort since the beginning of the year and we have nothing, not a clue. No fingerprints, no DNA, no suspect wanderer on the security cameras, not a noise heard by neighbors... Except for this melting ice we've been finding everywhere. It's as if the murderer turned on the faucet and sprayed water all over the walls before freezing it. It looked like a fucking fridge in there. Do we agree on the fact it's somehow impossible?”

 

“I don't know what is impossible anymore, Shota. Things have been getting real weird around me lately.”

 

They both sighed in unison and exchanged defeated looks.

 

“I guess we have no other choice than keeping on with the investigation.” Said Shota, grabbing a pile of papers.

 

“Yeah, you're right, we'll find that asshole, I swear.” Ryo smiled slightly and took the new file again, to read the details he had omitted earlier.

 

As his eyes were running along the lines, his mind wandered back to the enthralling voice he had heard on the street. The prisoner's voice. It was so beautiful that remembering it felt like a soothing caress for everything harsh that could happen. It could even make the terrible pictures fade away if he remembered the words at the right moment. It could literally defeat death.

 

_You're alive, Ryo..._

 

“Well, that's weird.” Shota pointed out.

 

“What?”

 

“There was a voicemail message left on the victim's telephone... What's weird is its exact content.”

 

Ryo raised an eyebrow at his friend's words.

 

“What kind of content?”

 

“It says _'You're alive, It's a miracle'_ and nothing else. What a strange thing to say to someone who died an hour later.”

 

Ryo froze in his seat and opened his eyes wide. He could still perceive the echo of the prisoner's voice in his head saying those very words. Something kind of broke in his heart as he remembered how soft and caring had been his embrace, earlier, in the street.

 

“I... I think that I've met the culprit.” He whispered, devastated.

 


	3. The Gift

It had been a week already since Ryo had seen the prisoner for the last time. He was conscious of how he sometimes looked for him on the streets, and was almost eager to feel the burn, if it meant that he could hear the voice again.

 

Shota had asked him to give a description of that man that they considered now as a suspect and Ryo regretted to have talked so fast because, in the end, he wasn't so sure anymore of anything.

 

His heart was telling him that the stranger was not the murderer. There was too much softness and care in his voice for him to be really evil. But when he remembered the words, the pain that the burn caused in him and the coldness he'd felt in the cell the first time they'd met, it was as if the puzzle was complete.

 

Too perfectly complete to be true.

 

This evening after a long day of investigation, he had opened a can of beer. Then two, then three...

 

He was now sipping his fifth beer and felt so dizzy that his ears were buzzing along with the beat of his ticker. The neighbors were particularly noisy and disrupting his reflection so he stood up and hit the wall several times with his clenched fist.

 

“Hey! Stop it! Stop!” He screamed, or so he thought, the alcohol being a little rough on his detoxified system. The last time he had drunk beer, it was the day Yumi died and he had ended up so wasted that he didn't remember who he was nor who she had been for him in the end. And the day after he'd sworn to stop drinking for good, a promise that didn't last that long, just a little more than a year...

 

The ruckus on the other side of the wall was giving him a headache, piercing his brain with sharp blades of pain every time someone screamed or moved a furniture around.

 

“Fucking youngsters...” He said croakily, gulping down what was left in the bottle. He staggered a bit, caught the back of the sofa with his free hand and sighed. “... 'Should go to bed, Nishikido. You're such a waste...”

 

He dragged his exhausted body to the bedroom and collapsed still entirely dressed on the messy bed, face first. In the neighbor's room, on the other side of the thin wall, someone was crying and begging for help but Ryo was already sleeping like a log. The noises stopped abruptly and it became quiet again while the detective unconsciously shivered on his mattress.

 

****************  
  
Ryo was woken up by the sound of his doorbell, ringing continuously as if someone had fainted on the button. He slid out of bed and went to open the door, a frown of displeasure marking his face. It was Shota behind the panel, his forefinger still pushing the button with diligence.

 

“Ah! Ryo... Finally!” He said, looking relieved. “I was about to ask for someone capable of knocking that door down. Are you okay?”

 

If Ryo looked around he could see that Shota wasn't exactly the only one behind his door. There were a lot of persons, starting with the Captain, the complete forensic team and half a dozen officers coming in and out the neighbor's flat.

 

“What are you all doing here?” He asked with a voice so raucous that he had to clear his throat twice right after.

 

“Well... Your neighbors... They are... Ryo, it's been happening twice near your place, I'm starting to grow worried. Didn't you hear anything?”

 

“Wh... What? Both of them? But last night they were...”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Come in.” Ryo dragged Shota inside of his apartment, closing the door with a slam. He left his friend in the genkan and turned on his heels, thinking deeply. Shota followed him after a little while, discovering in disbelief the terrible mess that Ryo's place was.

 

“Do you want a beer?” He heard coming from the kitchen along with clinking noises.

 

“No thanks... Ryo, it's ten in the morning, maybe you shouldn't...”

 

“Well, my life can't be any worse than this anyway.” Ryo stated with a shrug as he was coming back to the living room and threw himself on the sofa. “Sorry, people usually say 'Don't mind the mess' but I'm not up for hypocrisy anymore. Have a seat, though.”

 

Once his friend had managed to make some space for himself on the coffee table, Ryo opened his beer.

 

“They've been so noisy last night. I don't know, I was drunk... I thought they were having some rough sex. They were so young. What happened?”

 

“The same as usual. It's terrible in there. And that ice... running down the walls, the furniture, everywhere... There are frigging stalactites hanging from the table.”

 

Ryo brushed his face with a shaking hand feeling guilt growing in him. He could have done something, he could have seen the murderer or even saved them but all he had been doing was complain and drink some more. What a useless being he had become.

 

“I've been so cold, so cold last night... I guess the walls are that thin here.”

 

“Ryo... I'm going to go, I have to. Murakami-san is on edge, really. I guess he'll wanna have a word with you when you clock in tonight.” Shota stood and looked at his friend from above with the gentlest eyes. “Please tell me you'll clean that mess in the afternoon and go see a doctor. Please.”

 

“I can't promise you anything, but I'll try...” was all that Ryo could say to the leaving silhouette of his best friend.

 

*****************  
  
He must have fallen asleep again because when he opened his eyes, the building was dead silent. No more policemen nor anyone walking down his hallway to enter the neighbor's flat. Ryo looked at his clock and frowned at the numbers on the face. Four thirty.

 

He had to be at the precinct an hour later, which left him thirty minutes to take a shower and eat something if he wanted to be able to stand through his night shift. He grabbed a banana in the fruit basket and walked to the bathroom while eating. The shower felt amazing on his tensed muscles and the faint pitapat of the droplets on the tiled floor relaxed him. Ten minutes later he was shaving, fucking finally, he thought, and jumping into a fresh suit. He wanted to leave early and grab a coffee on his way so he left the apartment in the same mess as Shota had found it and walked to his door.

 

When he pushed the panel at first it didn't move an inch. It was as if it were locked despite Ryo clearly seeing the middle of it moving around the latch. So he pushed again, and again, stronger, hitting the door with his shoulder until it opened just a tad. And that's when he heard the soft wailing behind it and caught a glimpse of the legs covered with torn jeans through the opening. He froze and stayed speechless for a second, fear rising in his stomach.

 

“Who... Who are you? What are you doing here?”

 

“Help me, Ryo... please... I'm so tired...” Replied the person lying behind his door with a voice so faint that Ryo couldn't grasp all the words. But somehow he knew who it was, this voice was so familiar to his ears now. He pushed again, stronger but trying not to bump into the lying man. The other moaned painfully once between his gritted teeth. He was shaking hard and Ryo realized how cold was the hallway, how surreally freezing it was, even. Once the door was opened enough for him to squeeze through the small opening he discovered the prisoner, lying on his side, his fists caught between his legs, in the same position as he had found him the first time.

 

“What... are you doing here? Did you... kill... them?” He said, pointing at his neighbors' door.

 

“No... I tried... to stop... to stop him. Oh, he is so strong now... I'm so tired...”

 

It was just a sentence, pronounced by a man looking disheveled, homeless and hurt that could personify any threat existing in the world but without knowing why exactly, Ryo believed him. So he helped the other to his feet and brought him inside his flat with care until the door was closed behind them. The precinct could wait, the stranger had finally come to him.

 

****************  
  
“Do you want something to drink, to eat, maybe?” Ryo asked the other, that he had installed on his sofa. The stranger's eyes were still closed tightly and he coughed a little, wincing in pain every time.

 

“No. I need sleep. Sleep...” The soft voice died and the beautiful face relaxed eventually, giving in to slumber. Ryo stood in silence, looking at the other with fascination, not daring to move. A soft snoring sound dragged him out of his trance and he checked the clock once again. Five thirty.

 

“Shit. Should as well call them and take my day off...”

 

There was no way he'd leave the stranger here alone, in his home, now that he had found him. Or wasn't he the one who had been found? Was he the prey? He took his brand new phone from his jacket pocket and called the precinct, excusing himself for the day. He knew that he would receive an angry call from Murakami-san pretty soon but he didn't care anymore about lying.

 

The sleeping man shivered again, strongly, so Ryo took a plaid and covered him with it. His hand was so very close to the other's cheek, nose and lips, so tempting and offered to his touch. Remembering the embrace on the street and its bliss, he let his knuckle roam softly along the man's cheekbone before touching the plump lips with the tip of his fingers. They were warm, so warm. Not the vague hotness of some common living body, but a warmth of pure ecstasy that started to transfer from the other to his hand and climbed then along his arm, giving him the goosebumps. He kneeled next to the source of such pleasure and cupped the man's cheek with his whole hand, eager to feel more, to feel everything.

 

That's when the stranger chose to open his eyes, all of a sudden, and Ryo was afraid for a second, embarrassed of being found in such a compromising position, his face barely a few inches from the other's. The burning eyes had disappeared and in their stead, he could discover deep brown irises, extremely lively and immensely tired at the same time.

 

The young man took a tiny breath and settled his large hand on Ryo's nape.

 

“Thank you...” He murmured, looking straight into Ryo's eyes before pulling him down softly and making their lips meet. There was a moment of stillness, as if the world was only waiting for them to keep breathing and suddenly Ryo's lips started burning everywhere he was touching the other's. It was slightly painful and it felt like a stream of energy was being exchanged in their kiss, penetrating him wholly and spreading through his nerves and veins at light speed. Panic rose in him as he felt the hand on his nape clench his hair to maintain him where he was with a force so huge that it was certainly not human.

 

Before the burn became unbearable though, the other parted and smiled to him. He smiled so beautifully that Ryo forgot everything about the already receding pain on his mouth. So tenderly that Ryo wanted to cry.

 

“Thank you.” Said the other with the velvety voice he had craved to hear again. “Your heart has accepted the Gift. You're a miracle. So beautiful and so pure...”

 

“Stop saying that! I'm not pure, not beautiful... And what's that Gift for fuck's sake???”

 

“It's what I have to give you, because you're the only one on this planet who's able to receive it. To survive...”

 

“Oh, tell me, please...”

 

“ _Immortality_ , Ryo. From now on, you'll be living forever.” The stranger brushed the dark bangs over Ryo's eyes away and caressed his cheek tenderly.

 

“How about you?” He replied, unexpectedly feeling his heart throb with sadness at the other's words.

 

“I will finally die. Finally... After more than four hundred years spent on this planet, I will die. Finally.”

 

 

 


	4. The Pact

“At that time we didn't write down that kind of information in registers, nor did we usually pay attention to those details but my mother always told me that I was born on the year Ieyasu Tokugawa rose to power. I remember my parents, but they're like an old painted portrait in my memories, their colors are fading and they are so still. Though I remember the face of my wife, yes. We married young... and had children. Oh, I remember them too but it's all so far... so cold. I also recall burying all of them. I lost my family to Time and my mourning lasted so long...” He smiled timidly at Ryo and absentmindedly brushed his hair back, revealing a scar on his large forehead. “I'm alright, now. Even the greatest losses are fading away through the centuries. When I was around your age, I think, someone came to me. A beautiful man, precious and delicate. His skin was whiter than ivory, his hair dark as ebony, and his mouth was telling comforting words of poetry, which I listened with relish. It had started hurting every time he touched me, to burn me to the core and I hated that but I kept going back to him, blindly. When he told me about the Gift, it was already done, he had given it to me without my approval and taught me that I may have to give it to someone the same way. He also told me about his very long life, how he had known the time of the first emperors of Japan and the arrival of Buddhism. How he had been a monk and a warrior, a husband and a lover, and most of all how he wanted to die, how life had become tasteless to him.”

 

There was a pause in the man's monologue. He was still smiling but this time at his memories, thinking of that person who had given him his eternal life. Ryo cleared his throat softly, looking around awkwardly. Not only did he listen to that story with fascination but he could literally feel all the emotions of the other, cradled deeply in his own heart. He could also see the face of the other man, the first one, as if he'd met him, as if they'd shared a blind passion that had long died.

 

“Hm. When did he die?” He tried carefully.

 

“He died an old man. Years after he'd given me my second life. He retired to a monastery after a while, when he was certain that I knew all that was to be known about our special... condition. One day I walked to the temple and I saw him under a tree. He was leaving this world in peace. He gave me a last kiss and...”

 

Ryo felt his own heart break then, and along with the other, started to cry silently.

 

His phone rang, surprising them both by its blaring and artificial ringing. It was the Captain and Ryo knew better than ignore the call.

 

“Hello.” He said with his voice full of tears.

 

“ _Where are you???”_ Said Murakami-san on the other side of the line. His anger was palpable through the telephone and Ryo's companion jolted in fear.

 

“At home, Captain. I'm not well, I... went to the doctor and he urged me to stay home and rest for... a few days. I'll bring you his letter.”

 

“ _Ah. We needed you here today. The mayor and the government have heard of our struggle with that case and you told us you knew the culprit. It happened twice next to your house. Should I come to the conclusion that you have something to do with all this? I like you, Ryo, but I won't be able to protect you if you're not saying anything.What's happening?”_

 

“No... nothing, Captain. I'm just very tired and a little down. I'll explain everything next time.”

 

“ _Are you crying? Are you alright, Ryo?”_ The worry in Murakami-san's voice had overcome his anger by then and Ryo realized that, yes, he was still crying over the loss of that surreal being who'd died four hundred years ago under a temple's tree. He was mourning someone he'd never met in the flesh.

 

“I'm alright... I'll see you next time” He said hastily and hung up the phone. He threw it as far as he could from him, as if it were burning his fingers. “What did you do to me? Why am I crying, why am I sad because of those dead persons? I had enough of my own pain, why did you give me more?”

 

He was feebly hitting the other, who curled up into a ball on the sofa, still weeping. Ryo collapsed on him and they remained like this in silence, crying all the tears they had to cry together, their hands finding each other's. After a while, the man moved a bit and turned his head so Ryo could look at him in the eyes.

 

“I didn't intend to make you suffer more. It's... the side effects of the Gift. We will share everything until I'm back to being a mortal. It's the process.”

 

“Who are you? You didn't tell me.”

 

“Because you know my name already. It's in you since the first time we've met on that street.”

 

Ryo sat up a bit and let his mind explore itself, opening doors and drawers full of images he'd never seen with his own eyes. Wars and battles, blood and cries, countless springs and autumns, women, men, faces and smiles, all of this revealed itself to him, assaulting his tired brain in a whirlwind of colors and sounds. And suddenly he found what he was looking for, a name written on papers fallen all around him as the answer to his most important question.

 

“You are... Ohkura. Ohkura Tadayoshi.” He said, feeling surprisingly relieved.

 

“Yes. That's the name I go by. But no one cares.”

 

“I care about your name. How many people did call you this, through the centuries?”

 

By then, they were both lying on the sofa, so close to each other that Ryo could feel every beat of Ohkura's heart against his chest.

 

“A handful. It has been so many years since I've heard it from someone else's voice.”

 

“That must have been such a lonely life... Is that why you want to...?”

 

Ryo felt his insides clench suddenly, realizing that himself would certainly be the one accompanying Ohkura toward his death. His throat tightened and he started crying again without any control over his emotions.

 

“Shhh. Don't cry yet. My life isn't over. By the time I'm an old man, you won't be able to stand my awful personality anymore...” Said Ohkura with a little laugh, tilting his head to lightly kiss Ryo's brow.

 

It sounded strange, this laugh. It was the first time he heard this tiny chime that soothed any pain instantly.

 

“I have one... two more questions for now. May I?”

 

“Sure...”

 

“Why me?”

 

“Once someone like us wants to finally leave, there are not many options. We have to give the Gift back to someone else that we choose. I've been trying to give it twice before you, to persons I also loved. But they weren't strong enough... She killed herself because she thought she was going crazy. He died because of the burn. I cried a lot and tried to atone for their deaths... but it only made me certain of one thing: I had to leave this world. I am too much of a sinner to remain. And I met you. You survived the burn and the Gift. You're my miracle.”

 

“But I didn't ask for this, I didn't want...”

 

“Somewhere deep inside you, you said yes to me. Nothing can be done if your heart refuses. You'd be as dead as the...”

 

Ryo propped himself on his elbows, looking at the other in dismay. He feared what they were about to say. Somehow he knew that he had accepted the Gift, that he wasn't even questioning all this. This newfound enthralling connection with Ohkura had persuaded him to believe. But there was one thing that remained, one scary question he had been unable to utter despite the words burning his tongue.

 

“All that blood I saw in your memories, all those screams I heard... Did you kill those children? Are you the one we've been looking for?”

 

“I've told you, Ryo, I'm not. There's someone else. Like me. And he wants you so badly that I had to hurry. It made the process extra painful for you but now, you're mine...”

 

At those words, Ryo sat up, breaking the embrace they had fallen into without even noticing. Ohkura looked puzzled for a second and it made the detective even more furious.

 

“I'm not anybody's possession anymore. I'm mine! I was my wife's! She's gone now, and I won't be yours! I wanna be free!” He felt a tinge of rebellion seizing his heart, a last burst of independence that had to come out before what he knew would inevitably happen: his complete surrender to the fascinating being that was the other.

 

Ohkura looked terribly sad, his dark eyes full of grief. The sadness spread in the room like a powerful wave crashing against Ryo who shivered, standing in the middle of the freezing living room. The windows were suddenly coated in frost and their breath materialized before their eyes in puffs of white smoke. The other curled up again, holding his knees so strongly that his knuckles turned white.

 

“Why are you doing that?!” Ryo screamed, as thick ice started to form on his ceiling with a gloomy cracking sound.

 

“I can't control, I can't... I can't...” Whined the other sounding like an abandoned child.

 

Their hearts were suffering in unison once again and the only thing Ryo could do was to kneel in front of the other, resting his knees on the frosted floor, and caress his hair as gently as he could.

 

“Please, Tadayoshi. It's okay. I'm sorry I've said that, so sorry... I'll be yours and I'll accept everything, but please... Stop this.”

 

Ohkura opened his eyes and they were blue, so blue they could have been made of the ice that was spreading everywhere around them. It was scary, it was something he had never seen nor even imagined seeing in his life but somehow he knew how to stop it. The earlier version of himself, the one he was twenty-four hours ago was gone for good and he was now conscious of his own power. Even if the human in him was still screaming that it was not fair, unwanted, he still yielded to the other and let his lips tenderly find Ohkura's. He licked the frozen tears off the man's cheeks and cupped his face with both hands to seal their pact with a bolder kiss to which the other responded eagerly, in a kind of loving embrace he hadn't known for months and even years.

 

When the cold eventually receded, he let Ohkura's lips go and gently covered him with a plaid. He was exhausted so Ryo turned the lights off and after a last check at the trembling silhouette on the sofa, entered his bedroom and closed the door behind him with a sigh.

 

****************  
  
A few hours later, when the sun rays touched his naked skin and warmed it up nicely, Ryo stretched in his bed with pleasure. His night had been great, to say the least, and he felt rejuvenated as if he could live forever. Correct that, he could. Or so Ohkura had said to him.

 

For a second he expected everything to have been a dream and he even listened to the noises of his apartment with attention, searching for the familiar sounds of Yumi cooking breakfast for them. But his place was silent and his bedroom still a real mess. Yumi had not been here for ages, and somehow it didn't hurt as it usually did. It was a lonely feeling, a sad observation, but it didn't prevent him to get out of bed, grab clean clothes and walk out of his room smiling at the good memories.

 

When he discovered his living room, he gaped in awe. All the mess had been cleaned up and everything was back into place. Even his old broken guitar had found its stand again, looking as new as the ones sold in the shop downstairs. The sliding door of the balcony was opened and Ohkura stood there shirtless, a mug of coffee in hand, looking at the view. Ryo felt his heart swell with happiness, and that was strange for sure, but not so strange in the end. Everything related to that man felt new but also very old, very usual. He took a few steps toward the other and laid a hand on his muscular back with assurance.

 

“There's fresh coffee on the table for you.” Said Ohkura with a tender smile.

 

“Thanks. Did you clean all that mess during the night?” He asked with a small voice, suddenly overwhelmed by shyness. It looked very much like the first mornings lovers would spend together. Without the sex, of course, he reassured himself.

 

“Only this morning. It's easier, now that I know you well and... I had something to be forgiven for.” Another smile, another soft caress lingering on his cheek and Ryo blushed for good, looking for a neutral spot to look at. “I fixed your guitar, also. There are so many memories encased in it, an infinity of treasures you have to cherish.”

 

“I... I don't want to remember those too much. Yumi's memory is everywhere around that guitar.”

 

“I know. I can remember her too, now. And how much you loved her. I gave you my sufferings but you gave me yours as well. I don't want you to forget how precious she was for you. Remember her face as I remember my wife's, and build something new on the love she's given you.”

 

Ryo turned and looked at the other straight in the eyes. He hadn't felt so light in years, so freed of all pain.

 

“Are we this 'something new' together?”

 

“ _You_ are. Time will come when I'll leave too.”

 

A powerful feeling of wellness invaded him and Ryo couldn't control his body anymore. He craved for contact and for the radiating warmth of the other so he threw his arms around Ohkura's chest and hugged him the tightest he could. Resting his head where the man's immortal heart was still beating, he breathed in the intoxicating fragrance of his skin.

 

“But for now, you're with me. And I'll be with you until the end.”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today's chapter was quite the contemplative one :-) Ryo got some answers to his questions, but there are still some things that aren't so clear, right? I hope you liked this part, though, despite the lack of action.


	5. Painful Truths

“Come here, come next to me.”

The room was barely lit but Ryo could guess the features of the man talking to him, outlined by the darkness. The tatami under his feet cracked a little as he took a cautious step. Outside, behind the paper walls, night birds were chirping in chorus with the gurgling of a small waterfall. That place smelled of old wood beams polished by the years and incense which, coupled with the soft sound of the water was giving out a perfectly serene atmosphere. The man kneeling in front of him looked like a monk except for his semi long jet black hair and the perfection of his long hands that had most likely never handled any degrading chores. One of his black eyes was shining with the light and Ryo could make out how pale his skin was, an iridescent white almost, brought to life by the flickering flames of the torches. 

“Tadayoshi, come, don't be shy.” Said the monk with the most seductive tone he had ever heard. 

Tadayoshi? I'm Ryo.

He turned around, just to check that he was alone in the temple with the other and his eyes met emptiness. 

“Yes, master.” He heard Ohkura's voice say with his own lips. He took a few steps again and sat next to the other, taking advantage of his position to detail the mysterious face. 

“You can use my name, you know. You're allowed to, as my beloved.” And the beautiful man leaned in to press a kiss against his lips. A soft kiss but confident as well. Possessive. 

“Yes Yokoyama-sama.” He said finally, troubled by the ambergris fragrance floating around the monk. 

“Where did you get that scar, my love?” Asked Yokoyama, touching lightly his forehead. Ryo touched it in turn, conscious that he had never gotten a scar there. Never. But Ohkura had. 

“On the battlefield. I had to kill dozens to be able to come back to you. Your brother wants me to die, he says that I'm unwanted. So he commanded his underlings to get rid of me, he's too craven to do the work by himself. But I fought, to be able to see you again, to hear your words again... And here I am, now.” He heard Ohkura's voice say proudly. 

He was having a vision, he suddenly realized. He was traveling through the other's memories, reliving one of the moments Ohkura had shared with the one who had given him his eternal life. Ryo felt embarrassed, in the way, definitely not where he should be.

“I'm so proud of you. You have made it... He won't succeed, because you're the strongest, I swear. You deserve the Gift, Tadayoshi. Let me reward you...”

The man kissed him again, this time with more fervor, letting his long hands caress the sensitive skin of his chest, slipping under the hem of his kimono. It felt good, so good he could cry into the embrace, suffering every single emotion that Ohkura's heart and body had felt at that exact moment, when he had entirely surrendered to his master: The day the Gift had been definitely awarded to him and his immortal life had started. There was confusion in Ryo's mind, going from pleasure to fear, from awkwardness to pride, all of this mixed into his mind as he tried hard to wake up from that intoxicating vision.

Stop, Ohkura. Please stop, I don't wanna see more! Stop!!

Darkness and sensations receded and he opened his eyes in his quiet living room, lighted by the afternoon sun. His heart was still pounding and his body was feeling emotions he hadn't experienced in a while, making him blush with shame. Ohkura was sitting across the room, on the floor, holding his knees in his long arms, staring at him. 

“I'm not controlling this. I'm sorry. I didn't want you to see that kind of things, I...” He passed his hand over his face as if the memory had given him a strong headache.

“Why am I dreaming that much? I don't want to dream your life... I mean... It's not mine, it's so personal.”

“The process is draining the energy out of you, you have to sleep. Ah, and... You should as well forget about intimacy. I'm an open book to you, now. Read it as much as you want but don't lose yourself in the darkest pages...” Ohkura stood and walked to him slowly. He hesitated for a second, searching for his words. “It's extremely trivial but... May I take a shower? It's one of the few good points of all this modernity... And I really need it.” 

“Ah, uh... Sure... Don't even ask. I've clean clothes too but they may be a little small for you.”

“It'll do, don't worry.” He smiled broadly, and Ryo's heart fluttered immediately, making his cheeks turn a vivid pink. 

****************

The water was hitting the walls of the bathroom steadily, filling Ryo's apartment with the comforting sound of someone else's presence. He was hungry, hungrier than he had been for long, so he phoned his favorite ramen restaurant and ordered two portions of food to deliver. He caught himself smiling like a teenager on the way to date his crush twice into the mirror and couldn't even stop grinning despite the awkwardness of the situation.

When the doorbell rang, he ran to it, anticipating the delicious smell that would soon make his stomach growl. Except that behind the door it wasn't the delivery man but Shota, looking quite pissed off.

“You don't look that sick to me.” Said his friend with a sour voice.

“Shota, I... I'll explain everything very soon, it's just not the moment right now and...”

“We have two dozen suspect deaths to solve, Ryo. It's the apocalypse at the precinct and we need you. I'm dead worried and... look at you... I come to your house to help, expecting to find you weak and crying and you open the door with the largest smile I've seen on your face since the day of your wedding ceremony. It's so unsettling. Twenty-four hours ago you sounded like someone done with life.”

Shota was now inside the apartment, his shoes already removed, looking at the pristine living room with astonishment. In the background, the shower sound had stopped and Ryo knew that something was about to happen, something he was not ready to face yet. 

Ohkura came in, only wearing a pair of Ryo's jeans loose on his hips and still drying his long hair with a towel. Shota turned to him, clueless, and looked at Ohkura again, mouth agape.

“Ryo... Don't tell me... it's... He's the reason why you stayed home? I would have never thought that...”

“Well, kind of, yes, but it's not what you think, there's something going on that is way bigger than...”

“I can see that, yes.” Shota stated curtly while turning heels. “When your little vacation with your boyfriend will be over, think about us, we may need help to save lives.” 

And without giving his friend a second to explain, blindfolded by his anger, Shota left the apartment and slammed the door behind him. Ryo felt distraught, unable to act or say something after the terribly human reaction his best friend had just shown. All these earthly matters sounded so unimportant to him now, and he'd just found it so petty to react like this. He could feel how his view on things was rapidly changing as if the daily peeves were nothing more to him than a mosquito bite now that his life had transformed into something bigger. He turned to Ohkura who was still holding the wet towel in his hands, the question plain on his face. The other's eyes had turned a deep shade of blue, a sign that Ryo had learned to identify as a bad omen.

“What's happening?” He managed to ask, his heart clenching with worry.

“He reeks of death. He's about to die, Ryo. I can smell it, exhaling through his flesh. He's losing control.”

“What? No, but... Shota is my best friend, he can't... I can't lose him.” And the awful stench Ohkura had talked about reached his nose as he took a breath, so strong that it made him retch. In his disbelief, he felt the other's arms encircle his chest, warm and full of energy and he gave into the embrace, leaning back against Ohkura's chest. Ryo closed his eyes and saw. He saw his friend coughing, he saw him taking pills and drinking medicine, he saw him lying on a hospital bed for an examination. All this time, Shota had said nothing, solely focused on Ryo's wellbeing after his loss and on their investigation. He didn't even cry, paralyzed by the revelation.

“I'm sorry. So sorry...” whispered Ohkura against his neck. His voice was so soothing that Ryo smiled and was immediately submerged by guilt for having smiled in such a situation.

“Can't we do something for him?”

“We can't heal people as it pleases us. It requires a lot of strength and a crucial choice. But you can help him. With your compassion.” The man's hands were spread on his heart and again, Ryo felt the burn, intense and biting through his shirt. He let his head fall back on Ohkura's shoulder and moaned, abandoning himself to the fire that was spreading throughout his limbs. “Let me make you stronger. Let me help, my love.”

 

******************

“Why did you want to see me? Did you finally decide to come back to work?”

“No. I can't, Shota. Not now.”

“And what is he doing over there, ignoring me?” Shota pointed Ohkura out with an angry movement of his chin. The tall man was sitting on a low wall, a few meters away from them, his eyes lost in the distance. 

“He's watching. He makes sure nothing is happening to us, so please, spare me the criticism.” He replied with a way dryer tone that expected.

They were meeting outside of the precinct, far enough for Murakami-san to ignore Ryo's presence but close enough for Shota to be able to go back in case of emergency. That's what they had agreed upon after a series of angry texts exchanged along the afternoon.

“So now, you can't go anywhere without that guy? Seriously Ryo, he looks so weird, I don't know why but you changed so much since... that day you've fainted on the street.”

“He's weird, yes. And I'm weird as well, now. Listen Sho-chan, I can't explain everything today and if I did, I'm sure you wouldn't believe me but there's one thing I needed to tell you: If you're in pain, please let me help. I don't want to lose you, you are my best friend. Why didn't you tell me?”

Ryo's friend shifted a little on his feet and blushed. He looked so lost and so fragile all of a sudden, on the verge of crying.

“Tell you what?”

“About your condition. Tadayoshi saw it. He said that you are dying.” The last words got caught into his clenched throat. A few days ago he would have cried, screamed and begged his friend for an explanation. But in that street, guarded by the calming presence of Ohkura, Ryo managed to keep his composure, feeling way above his own human sufferings, only focused on his friend.

“What is he, that guy? A fucking Nostradamus?” Shota snickered, looking everywhere but into Ryo's eyes. “He's right... I don't have much left, Ryo. I learned about it when Yumi was at the worst of her condition. I couldn't tell you... And then, well then, life unfurled and you were so down, so sad. I couldn't do this to you.”

Ryo was feeling his insides boil with fury as he saw his own hand surge forward and hit the wall behind Shota so strongly that it cracked through its bricks. It didn't even hurt, there wasn't a single wound barring his skin, only the red dust of the bricks falling like heavy snow on them. And Shota's fearful look, as he was trapped between Ryo and the wall, crying for good. The fury swiftly died down in him though, as Ryo felt Ohkura's hand warm on his shoulder, his thumb caressing his nape in tiny motions. This contact was definitely the best feeling in the world and he would have sold the entire planet at that instant to be able to get more, to feel the flames take over his veins again. He closed his eyes and relaxed against his companion who slowly dragged him away from Shota.

“Ryo, we have to go. He's close. It's dangerous, here, in the open. Someone could get harmed.” 

“Who's close?” Asked Shota with a high pitched tone that gave out how scared he was.

“The Master.” Ryo answered, opening his eyes in sync with Ohkura. They were both standing in front of his small friend, holding each other's hand. The wind suddenly blew stronger, whistling between bars of the outdoor stairs like a chant announcing some dreadful event. It quickly got a lot colder and the three of them shivered under the flickering street lights.

“Ryo... You... Your eyes... they're blue.”


	6. The Exchange

Silence fell on the street and all the life around them slowed down until the passers-by stopped moving, as if caught in translucent ice. Some of the public lights burst in a firework of small sparkles that fell like petals blown away by the wind, burning the sidewalk here and there.

“What's happening??” Shota asked again once the deafening noises had died. He was shielding himself with his arms, stuck against a wall that still bear the mark of Ryo's earlier burst of anger.

“He's found us. He's still after Ryo...” Said Ohkura so low that they could hardly hear all his words. He was talking to himself more than to them, his face reflecting the fear he felt, the same fear that flowed into Ryo's veins instantly.

“Who is it?” 

“The one I've fought back then, Yokoyama-sama's brother.” 

The cold was invading the streets while ice formed everywhere, crawling along the facades, the store fronts, making the cars grate between its frozen claws and irremediably making its way towards them. In the paralyzed crowds, someone moved, a slender body, tall and delicate who walked along the weaving ice strands and approached as naturally as he could, his pale blue eyes gleaming in excitement. Ohkura moved without a second thought, offering his body as a shield to protect Ryo behind him.

“Ah!! Finally!” He said, opening his arms in front of Ohkura as if he wanted to hug him. And that's what he did, holding the man with a strength so formidable that it made him moan painfully. “I've found you two, out of your protected nest... That's mean to hide from me, when you know that I've already won anyway...” His pale eyes were intrusive, piercing into Ryo with greed.

“You've won nothing, Ryo is mine now and you can't alter the process. I've started.” 

“What?! How did you dare? I had to go first! I'm older!” He slapped Ohkura with one of his long hands and all his rage, and sent him flying across the empty street as if he were a dislocated doll. He crashed on the floor with a terrible sound and Ryo's insides churned in fear. “You had no right! You overstepped your position, Tadayoshi... It was my turn!”

Ice was cracking under each of his steps as he walked towards the unconscious man, still lying on the ground. Ryo's head was ringing in pain but he forcibly stood and ran, the fastest he had ever run in his life, to get between the Immortal and his target. Shota screamed in the distance when he saw his friend shielding the taller one, facing a thing he couldn't even comprehend.

“Ryo! Move aside! Move!!” Yelled the attacker, reaching the peak of his fury. By then a snow storm had formed, violently spiraling around him and the two men on the floor.

“No!!” Ryo screamed in return, facing his enemy without flinching. He was frozen, Ohkura was still passed out behind him and he felt their hearts hesitating in unison between life and death after the tremendous shock the other had just taken. He was scared, so scared of losing him that he screamed again and again 'No' to the monster's face, tearing his lungs and throat apart in the process but never stopping until his opponent took a step backwards, and another, disbelief plainly visible in his eyes. 

“He'll regret this, bitterly. For the day I'll see you both again will be the day of his death.” His voice whistled in Ryo's ears.

The snow fell to the floor and wind stopped blowing as the attacker left quickly, losing himself into the crowds of paralyzed people around them. Cold receded as well and soon bodies started moving again as life resumed its course. Shota came running to them and fell on his knees next to Ryo.

“You alright? Ryo! Answer, please...”

“I... I'm okay. I... think.” His broken voice had a hard time passing through his burning throat but at least he could still breathe. Some passers-by stopped to look at them and asked if they needed help with something, given that Ryo was still sprawled on the unconscious Ohkura, offering a strange spectacle to the unsuspecting onlooker. 

When finally the other opened his eyes and sat up still dazed, Ryo started sobbing in relief and let his arms encircle Ohkura's neck to hold him the closest he could to his heart. 

“I'm alright, Ryo... I'm alright. Where is he?” The other whispered as he was closing his long arms around the detective's tiny silhouette. 

“He left.” Said Shota, obviously still stunned by what he had just witnessed. “Ryo got between you two and just... screamed. Basically. It's like it frightened him so much that he left. Who the fuck are you, people??”

“He's the killer we've been chasing all this time. He kills out of fury, and it's me that he wanted.” 

“But... Ryo... Wanted you for what?”

Ryo looked at Ohkura for a split second, searching for assent in his deep pupils. The other nodded shortly.

“He has seen too much anyway, you can go on.”

“He wants to get rid of his immortal life. He desires to die. He wanted to give it to me but... Tadayoshi...”

“... Did it first.” Concluded Shota in disbelief. “How could you want to get rid of immortality? Why, even?” He added, threading his fingers into his hair. Ryo could see how stupid this idea seemed to him, how unbelievable the whole thing was. “Are you one of them, now, Ryo?”

“Not yet. Not completely at least. It's something that takes time and for now Ryo and me are in-between. Mortal and immortal, weakened by the process. That's why he could hit me that strongly. My body doesn't know yet how to deal with weakness.” He looked exhausted, trembling as hard as the day Ryo had found him on the threshold of his door. 

“How about we go home?” He asked, feeling quite tired himself. “Shota... May I ask you to keep quiet about all this? I think we should meet tomorrow. At my place, after your shift. We'll be able to explain everything and talk about... other matters.”

“You mean if some wicked demon coming straight from hell hasn't killed you before? If so, I'll be there.”

“Are you going to be okay?”

“Please... I'm just dying. How could my life be worse?”

Ryo hugged his friend for a while, trying to carve into his transforming heart the sensation of him, his fragrance and the firmness of his body against his. All of these things that would be missed when, finally, Ryo would live alone through the centuries.

****************

“Is your jaw okay?” 

“I think so. It's been so long since I last got a wound.” Ohkura said with a little embarrassed laugh.

“Still, it's swollen around here.” And Ryo pressed lightly on the other's cheek where the bruise was turning purple.

“Ouch.” Frowned the lying man. They'd gone back to safety rather quickly and Ryo had then insisted for Ohkura to lie on his bed and rest. “Thank you.” 

“For what?”

“Well, you've protected me. It's not like you've known me for very long.” His voice was low, humanly palpable and quite different from what it had been at the moment of their first meeting.

“A day or a life, does it really matter? When I saw you vulnerable on the floor, I couldn't stop myself. I had to be with you. I didn't care anymore about death or life, because... what would be my life without you now?” 

Sat on the bed next to Ohkura, Ryo leaned in and tenderly laid a kiss on the other's sultry lips. He hadn't meant to do it, it had just come naturally, an impulse that made him realize how tantalizing Ohkura was, how much he wanted to be one with him, and screw the mourning, screw the criticism and Shota's harsh words. Who would actually judge him for succumbing?

The other seemed to have gotten the inner questions in Ryo for as soon as their lips separated he felt the need to ask for confirmation.

“Ryo, are you sure?”

“I've never been more certain of something than that.” 

Their mouths met again and this time shyness was no more part of the plan. Ryo's hands cupped Ohkura's jaw as he joined him on the bed, lying against the tall man the closest he could. He was expecting the warmth their contacts had always triggered but this time this incredible hotness came from both of them, exchanged skin to skin, fingers to hands. He dared slip his right hand under the other's shirt, following the perfect lines of the muscles still hidden to his sight and it slightly prickled as if small bolts of lightning were born from their touches. Ohkura was giving back every kiss, every caress, taken aback by the boldness of the other but still gladly complying. 

Ryo's heart was pounding so hard that it was hard to breathe, but he wouldn't have stopped for anything, magically drawn to Ohkura, to his body and the incredible wellness that was born from him. Their mouths met repeatedly, kissing and biting, savoring each other as if they'd never known anyone else, as if their whole life had been created just for this moment. 

Ohkura caught his breath for a second, looking at Ryo straight in the eyes and caressed his hair tenderly.

“You don't have to...” He murmured, as shy as a young bride, blushing under the dark gaze that was devouring him. 

“I want to. That's all there is now. You and me.” Ryo kissed the other again, as his hand traveled lower, so low he would have jumped back in dismay forty-eight hours ago. But at that instant, it felt just the right thing to do and the moan of pleasure that Ohkura let go then made him so proud, so powerful that he let a low laugh of satisfaction escape him.

“Do you want it, completely...?” Gasped the other as his nails scratched Ryo's scalp, eliciting a wanting cry from him.

“Yes. Utterly.” A rough kiss, another piece of clothing ripped off Ohkura and again a pause. And their heavy breaths filling the room and their ears with the sound of their weird love. 

“You have to say goodbye to your mortal life. Tomorrow, everything will be different. It will burn, it may tear your insides painfully but you won't die, because I'm here, with you.”

“I trust you. And I'll keep protecting you until...” It was too difficult to say and the words died on his tongue when Ryo looked at those bright orbs missing no movement, no flutter of his lashes. The sadness got caught inside, drowning his heart on the way to acceptance of the fact that eventually, they would be separated. Eventually, he'd kiss Ohkura goodbye under a tree or on a bed and he'd learn how to live alone. 

“... Until the day I'll leave for good. I don't know if I want it anymore now that I've met you.” 

“I'll make the rest of your life worth the sacrifice, I swear. Just love me like you've never loved anyone.” Ryo's lips found the place where Ohkura's heart was beating frantically and religiously kissed him there, as one of his hand rested on the other's stomach, feeling the power slowly rising into him and transferring gradually until it started burning as he had been promised. His tongue tasted his lover's skin, and it shone under his touch, under the tip of his fingers and his lips. It was a warm light, comfortable and painful at the same time, that swallowed them whole as their bodies joined in ecstasy. 

His eyes were closed but he could see. He glimpsed at an entire life that unfolded at light speed and its colors blinded him, its pains drilled holes through his heart and its pleasures intoxicated him to the point he could feel on him every single caress Ohkura had received. The light bulbs in the apartment burst with a dull sound but none of them cared. They were one finally, and life was their bond, a bond so strong that it transcended the rules of the universe, and death was defeated in one passionate embrace.

*****************

He felt a kiss between his shoulder blades and a caress, slow and tender, following the curve of his lower back until Ohkura's hand settled in the crook of his waist. Ryo sighed and snuggled a little more into the pillows, enjoying the soft but possessive embrace.

“How are you feeling today?” Whispered the other as his lips grazed Ryo's nape.

“Hmmm. Better than any other day of my life?”

There were a soft laugh and a peck left on his jaw.

“I guess so. You've taken everything out of me.”

“What?” Ryo opened his eyes in panic, as the images of the previous night were coming back to him. So much power, so much light... and pleasure, had been exchanged. And now? How long would Ohkura live? He had felt so greedy, so eager to feel that he hadn't really thought about it. He turned on the bed, half-expecting to discover the other wounded, exhausted and on the verge of death. But Ohkura was still as beautiful as he'd been the day before, even more if Ryo squinted a bit. The flaws of his now mortal condition were giving him a desirable delicateness that triggered a powerful feeling of longing in him.

“It's okay, don't worry. I just have to get used to it. I'll have to be cautious now, life is something we lose so easily.” Ohkura said with a smile.

“I'm here, anyway. I'll protect you from...”

“His name is Eiji. He's tried to kill me since I've met his brother. Now that he can, he won't pass up the chance.”

“He won't touch you, never. That Eiji, tell me... Why did he want me, especially?”

“Ryo I'm not sure you... It's, well...”

“You have to tell me. Or I'll read it in you.” He had spoken too fast, sounded too commanding, and he regretted his words as he was saying them, even more when he saw the hurt in the other's eyes. So Ryo mellowed and laid his head on Ohkura's chest. “I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that.”

“It's alright. Power tends to go to anybody's head, at first... You need time to adjust. I've been awful more often than not, you know.” He kissed Ryo's brow and sighed deeply. “He wants you because you're the only one who could receive a power such as his. You're his kin, Ryo. The last descendant of his bloodline still alive. Because he has killed the others.”


	7. Lives

The burning smell that reigned all around Ryo was nauseating. It reeked of burnt flesh and wood, slightly subdued by the fragrant pine beams that supported the roof over their heads. Ohkura was there, standing next to his master, looking at the numerous fires devastating the village from the engawa of a villa. Ryo knew he was in the other's memories this time. He had traveled there by himself, so easily.

 

In the darkest of the night, as his lover was sleeping peacefully next to him, he had been devoured by curiosity, by the desire of knowing everything about who they were, about their fate. He had put his hand in Ohkura's messy bangs, brushing them back tenderly until his palm settled on the top of his head. And then he had closed his eyes, feeling the connection between them unfurl, his brain very fast colonized by images thrown at him in a dizzying chaos.

 

After a little while, he mastered the way to skip the memories he didn't need or the ones he didn't want to see. Ohkura's wedding night. The moment when he'd lost his son. How he had buried his wife with his own hands. The terrified look in the villagers' eyes when they had grown old and he had remained perfectly young, accompanying one after another to the grave. These were terrible moments and shuffling through them was already more painful than what he had expected. So he kept looking for Eiji's presence and suddenly found him, in the middle of the flames, walking towards Yokoyama and Ohkura, a contented smile adorning his lips.

 

“A good day to you, Brother!” He screamed at Yokoyama among the thunderous noise of the fire licking every bit of the houses around them.

 

“What have you done, Eiji?” Answered the master, with a voice so cool it could have extinguished the roaring blaze.

 

“They got what they deserved. They'd lock me up in a cave, for two years. Where have you been when your little brother suffered from hunger? Did you even try to search for me? No. You were with your... your... pet.”

 

“They had a reason to do this. You killed three of their children...”

 

“ _My_ children, Brother! Mine they were those miserable bits of walking flesh. It's a pity they couldn't stand receiving the Gift, but still, I'd fathered them. I can do whatever I want with my own offspring.”

 

“You shouldn't have fathered children in the first place. What if the Gift passed into them just by being born? What kind of new species would walk this earth? Father told us it's forbidden.”

 

“Is that why you're lying with men, Brother? Truly, your pet can't give you a child...”

 

Swiftly, so fast that Ryo almost missed it, Ohkura moved and ran to Eiji. In the blink of an eye, his sword was on the other's throat, already cutting through the skin.

 

“What if I severed your head from the rest of your body, Eiji? Would your stupid head continue living without the rest? If so, it would be a pleasure to tie it to a stone and throw both in the nearest lake. How about feeling like you're drowning for the rest of eternity? _How does that sound, monster_?” Ohkura spat to his opponent face, his voice boiling with fury.

 

“Tadayoshi. Stop.” Yokoyama walked up to them, stoic, and put a tender but firm hand on his lover's forearm. “Don't fall into his trap. One day or another, he will pay.”

 

Ohkura lowered his blade, reluctantly, as Eiji was laughing low. He took a few steps backward and before running away from the two others, took a long breath of the air saturated with the smell of the burning bodies he had just killed.

 

“Don't you think this smells like power? No? Father has made one mistake: splitting his Gift between the two orphan boys he'd found. Now there are two immortals walking this earth, Me, and you. You have to come to terms with this, Bro.”

 

“I'm not an Immortal anymore. Tadayoshi is. And he'll make sure to prevent your murders.”

 

“So it's the last time I see you. Next time, I'll visit your grave. I wish you have a painful death, Brother, because it's what makes eternal life worth living.”

 

_Stop, Ryo!_

 

Eiji turned heels and vanished in the blaze, his darkened silhouette melting in the heat.

 

_Stop! It hurts!_

 

Ryo turned towards Ohkura. He could hear his voice, somewhere, far and close from him at the same time. But the other man was not moving, ignoring everything of Ryo's presence. He was looking at Yokoyama in dismay and his long hair was slightly moved by the hot breeze coming from the flames. He was so handsome. Looked so powerful. And cursed with a mission...

 

“Stop, Ryo! _Please!_ ” His shoulder was roughly shaken and he opened his eyes again in his bedroom. Ohkura was holding his head in pain, shaking and screaming. When the connection broke, when Ryo was definitely back in the present, his lover fell on the bed before him and took a whistling gulp of air.

 

“You okay?” He asked, panic rising in his voice. The other was terribly pale and struggled to breathe.

 

“ _No_! Why did you do that, it's so painful!”

 

“I... I'm so sorry... I thought... I... You told me that... I could read in you.”

 

“I'm not an Immortal anymore, you'll kill me if you keep doing this.”

 

“Oh, I'm so sorry... I was so curious, I'm sorry!” Ryo fell sobbing on the other, realizing with horror how stupid and how intrusive he had just been. How violent. He stayed for a while with his ear on Ohkura's chest, checking his breath and the beatings of his heart. “Can you forgive me?”

 

“What did you see?” It was said in a breath, with a voice full of fear and pain. It reminded Ryo the day Yumi had told him about her condition, and his stomach was pierced by a spear of cold panic.

 

“I saw... You. And your Master. Eiji. A burning village and... Oh my god, the smell. It was awful. He has killed them! It's been centuries that he's killing children. Why?!”

 

“Because I was weak and I didn't cut his head off as I should have. Can you forgive me?”

 

It took Ryo aback, that strange confession. He looked up and noticed the redness of Ohkura's eyes.

 

“Of course, I... I love you.”

 

“Will you forgive me if I told you why I chose you?”

 

“You told me already... I could bear it? I'm his descendant.”

 

Ohkura sat back up, took Ryo in his arms, and buried his nose in the crook of the other's neck.

 

“I had a mission. I had to get rid of Eiji. But the power Yokoyama sama gave me was flawed. It was altered, and I wasn't of his bloodline. I wasn't a powerful immortal, you know.” He laughed slightly, nuzzling a little more. “I couldn't fight Eiji, so I had to find someone potentially powerful enough for this. Someone with his blood running in his veins. I chose you not just because you could survive the process but because I could give you my mission. I gave you my curse.”

 

“But, Tadayoshi... If you'd let him give me his Gift, he would have died, right? Why, then?”

 

“Eiji must not pass the Gift to anyone. For his madness would also pass with it and the next Immortal would be even thirstier for blood, with a power so fantastic that it could trigger wars. Eiji needs to be locked up in a cell and forgotten forever. You have this power in you. I'm sorry.”

 

“Is there at least a little love for me in you, or was it all a game?” Ryo's heart pounded painfully but he couldn't let go of Ohkura, clenching his shoulders with as much force as he could gather.

 

“Love is another matter. Something that fell upon me thrice in my long life, every time different. I loved my wife, almost because I had to. I loved Yokoyama, he was everything I wanted to be. I love you, and it's so scary because I don't know why. Ryo, I'm asking again, will you forgive me?”

 

“It goes without saying. Remember, it's all that there is now, you and me.”

 

 

****************  
  
 _“Ryo, I'm not sure that I can accept the fact that, amidst all the dying people on this earth, you, who were ready to give up on life, were the one chosen for immortality. I spent the night thinking, and despite all the love I have for you, my friend, it's still not fair. I want to talk to that guy, Eiji. I want him to give what he has... Maybe to a child I know from the hospital. Someone worthy. He wants to get rid of it, right? Does he want to die? Good. Some want to live. If he dies, the murders will stop, and a worthy child will be granted life. That's why I won't come to your place this afternoon. Don't wait for me, we don't have much left to say anymore, when we are next to each other anyway. Stay safe, Ryo... well, I don't know if I should still say that... “_

 

*******************  
  
When Ryo finally checked his phone, the message was already registered on his voice mail. He listened to it and started shaking. What was Shota thinking? Why hadn't he given him just a tiny chance to explain everything before drawing terrible conclusions by himself?

 

He dialed Shota's number nervously and let the ringing stretch for a while in his silent apartment. It hung up with a crack so Ryo dialed again, and again, until the noise of the speaker woke Ohkura up. He entered the room with messy hair and the frown of someone whose waking had been rough.

 

“What are you doing? Wasn't your friend supposed to come over?”

 

“He wants to make a deal with Eiji.”

 

“What?! That can't be! You can't make a deal with him!”

 

“He doesn't know, he hasn't seen... what you and I have seen.”

 

“We need to find them, or else your friend will die quicker than he thinks.”

 

“But how?”

 

“Concentrate, Ryo. You can find Eiji, I gave you that power...”

 

Ohkura claimed his mouth passionately, and everything in him changed. The panic, the fear, the questions, all of this calmed down into the kiss and he could see clearly. The world was now a pool of darkness through which luminous and throbbing threads were running, expanding at every turn they took or turning dull as their pulsations died. Lives, he thought, the lives of billions of humans, stretching out before me, and I'm looking for only one... Where?

 

_It's the shiniest one, it's so bright it burns,_ he heard as an answer when he felt his lover's hand touch the naked skin of his back. So he searched, among millions of threads, blue, red, green, large or thin, bright or not and he saw it. A white laser beam like line, the brightest of them all, going through the knot some of them formed as if it was cutting through those lives without even caring. Ryo touched it with the tip of his fingers and he saw a place, a mountain, _no_ , a volcano, perfectly shaped and so dry that no trees were growing on its faces. Eiji was there, sitting on a rock, and not so far, Shota's blue and dull life thread kept moving towards him.

 

Ryo opened his eyes and let Ohkura's lips go.

 

“I know where to find them.”

 


	8. Scorpius

From the charcoal black slopes of the volcano they could see all the way to the shore, where the emerald sea was glistening under the setting sun. It smelled of sulfur and burnt trees as they climbed up along a path that had most likely been used for many pilgrimages through the centuries but had been abandoned long ago by the walkers. The slope was steep and small pebbles were rolling under their feet but Ryo didn't stop climbing, turning around every so often to check on Ohkura who looked exhausted. It was still hot at this hour and the other had this uncanny pallor that revealed how weak the exchange had made him.

 

_Damn Shota, with your wicked idea... We could have used a couple of days of rest._

 

It was so unlike him to think bad of his friend. But today, he was only concerned by this said friend possible meeting with the evilest form of life currently walking the earth and his survival. So he allowed himself a bit of grumbling. Not to mention the person he'd just recognized as the one he loved, for a short time and unexpectedly, but still loved from the bottom of his heart, this person who was now on the verge of fainting, weakened by a condition he hadn't known for years: mortal life.

 

“Are you alright?” He ventured cautiously.

 

“I've been better... But we have to continue. We'll find them.” Ohkura's voice was raspy and every breath sounded painful so Ryo slowed down and waited for him. Once they were touching shoulders, he took his lover's hand and squeezed it lovingly.

 

“I don't want Shota to meet Eiji, I don't want them to make a deal but above all, I don't want you to die here.”

 

“I'm not important anymore, Ryo. I'm the one who has failed repeatedly for centuries. It's my fault if we're here.”

 

“You are important to me.” He threw his arms around Ohkura's neck and let his head fall on his chest. The contact was as warm and comforting as it had always been between them and, for a second, he hoped it could help the other.

 

“I'm okay, Ryo. Let's go or we'll miss them.” A kiss on his forehead and suddenly only the emptiness between his arms, nothing was left to press against his doubting heart. Ohkura had started climbing again, walking ahead, as if to show his determination.

 

When they arrived at a small plateau that cut through the mountain halfway to its peak, they stopped again for a moment. The night was dark and many stars shone over their heads, flickering little lights that Ryo hadn't seen for years like this, cleaned of all the pollution and the blinding neons of the metropolis. He took a long breath and threw his head back until all he could see was darkness and stars. It seemed to him that he could make out all the main constellations easily, and could even name some of them.

 

“Cygnus... Lyra... Scorpius...” He hadn't learned any of those as a child, even less as an adult, even when he'd tried to seduce Yumi with his clumsy techniques. So where did this knowledge come from? He glanced at Ohkura and the other was smiling gently, looking at him in silence.

 

“Yokoyama-sama taught them to me. That's how the traveler could find his way when the night was dark and full of traps. I'm glad it's something you also got from me.”

 

“Which one is your favorite?”

 

“Yours. Scorpius. It's here, look. Antares in its middle is one of the brightest stars in the sky. The Scorpion is the slayer of Orion, the hunter that no creature could kill. You're as brave and as resilient as the Scorpion...”

 

“What happened to the Scorpion after he killed Orion, then?”

 

“... He died with him. Some stories are better left unfinished, you know...”

 

They looked at each other with a smile and suddenly, in the silence of the mountain only disrupted by the wind howling among the rocks, Ryo heard something. A whistling sound. Deep and disturbing. He shivered and Ohkura's breath materialized before his eyes.

 

“He's close.” Said Ryo as he looked around.

 

“Here.” And Ohkura pointed at a dim light higher on the mountain, a few minutes of walk away from the plateau where they were standing.

 

“Is it a house?”

 

“A hut, I think. There's light inside.”

 

“Are you okay? Should I go alone?”

 

“Ryo, you're not going anywhere alone. I'm not leaving you.”

 

“But...”

 

Ryo was shut up by a kiss, surprisingly warm despite the quickly lowering temperature. He clenched Ohkura's hair, possessively tangling his fingers in the black mane. When they parted he remained still for a second.

 

“It's not the last.” Ryo said in a breath.

 

“It's not the last.” Confirmed the other as a tear rolled down his cheek.

 

*****************  
  
When the door of the hut finally flew open under Ryo's strong kicks, cold seized them both immediately. A blizzard came out and jumped at them, howling and flowing around their limbs, emptying the small building until they could see what was inside. Shota was seated, his face against the frozen wood of a table, so pale that his blue lips looked almost black. His back was lifting sporadically with his painful breaths, which showed that he was still alive.

 

_Barely._

 

Ryo ran to him and let his hand caress his friend's forehead, looking for a little warmth, for any sign that could reassure him.

 

“I didn't kill him. Yet.”

 

Eiji walked into the room by a narrow door leading to a small recess. His face was tired, incredibly sad, and in none of Ohkura's memories that Ryo had seen had he looked that miserable.

 

“What did you do?”

 

A laugh. Piercing and seedy, making the icy walls vibrate around them.

 

“What did you do?” Eiji mimicked, making a face. “That's all what you good guys have to ask me...” He moved particularly fast, grabbed Ohkura's arms and locked them behind his back, eliciting a painful moan from his captive. “How about you ask me how I've been all these fucking centuries spent alone? How about you ask me what I'm _going_ to do, now that Tadayoshi is finally at my mercy and too weak to do anything else than begging for his life?”

 

“Don't you dare...” Ryo growled but it was too late, the other was already squeezing his lover's forearms so strongly that Ohkura wailed in pain before falling on his knees.

 

“It's your choice Ryo. Either your innocent and stupid – let's be honest – little friend is mine now _or_ this sinful ex-immortal who failed at everything is dying. He has been stalking you, you know... He has been following you for years, patiently waiting in the darkness for your little wifey to die so he could jump on you and seduce your broken heart. Isn't he evil this one?”

 

“What are you saying?” Ryo asked with a trembling voice. Shota was slowly regaining consciousness, moving slightly under his hand. “We love each other... we...”

 

“Oh... How convenient! Of course he told you that. He has seduced my brother as well, who was a holy man. He has corrupted his pure soul and almost succeeded at getting rid of me, the only person who could bring my brother back to reason. He would have been the only Immortal of this earth, reigning over all the suffering ants that humans are to us. How about you open your eyes, Ryo, and realize who he really is. Who I really am. What if I told you that he's the one who killed Yumi?”

 

“What?!”

 

“No!” Ohkura screamed with so much force that his voice broke. Eiji hit him hard, tightening his grip on the twisted arms. “No, Ryo, I haven't...”

 

“Shut up!!” Yelled the Immortal, “Shut up, all of you!”

 

The ice on the walls cracked and fell in some places, leaving room for more stalactites, threateningly growing all around them. Shota was now entirely conscious, his teeth chattering with cold as he grabbed Ryo's sleeve like a frightened little boy.

 

“Ah. Mister Peace is back with us. So... Do you still want my eternal life? Did you like the little teaser I've shown you?”

 

“N... No...” Shota stuttered, from cold or fear Ryo couldn't say, but his friend's small hand found his and squeezed it with what was left of his strength. “You're a monster... All those people...”

 

“Good. This must be a lesson to you: don't mingle with gods' business, my little friend. Though I'm grateful, because it brought Tadayoshi and my most awaited heir to me... So I'm feeling magnanimous. You won't die today.”

 

Ohkura moaned painfully again, his arms crushed in Eiji's powerful grip. It was as if he was being robbed of his vital energy by the contact, slowly withering in silence, his face down, hidden by the black mass of his messy hair. Ryo's head was about to explode and he couldn't think straight anymore, assaulted by the doubt and images of Yumi, young and smiling, falling sick unexpectedly and dying so fast that even her doctors had been left clueless. Images also of Ohkura, the first time he'd seen him, he'd _felt_ him and how fast he'd taken possession of his suffering heart.

 

Eiji was delighted to see this conflict in him, smiling larger every second, savoring the palpable pain that was growing in the room.

 

“Tadayoshi... I need to know. Did you...” Ryo whispered, desiring nothing more than the other's embrace and the certainty that it brought to him. He was feeling Shota's hand in his but it was cold and Ohkura had been so warm, so amazingly comforting and Yumi's hands had been both, warm in life and so cold when she'd left, confusing his feelings and his whole self. “Tell me, please...”

 

“No. Never. I wouldn't have done this to you. Why would I have stolen the life of someone who loved you so much?” He paused for a few seconds, taking a long breath. “I made a lot of mistakes. I killed, I seduced, I failed, many times, I'm a sinner. But I did nothing to Yumi. If you have the tiniest doubt, though, let him kill me. I've given you my life already, I don't want to keep living if you don't love me anymore.” His last words died with a sob as Eiji exulted.

 

“So, how does that feel, Tadayoshi? I finally broke you. I won. And after you die, Ryo and I will find someone worthy of my Gift and we'll shape him as we want and your existence will be proved to have been useless. The world will forget you forever.“

 

“ _I_ will never forget him.” Shota suddenly stood and took a few hesitant steps. Ryo was still in a dazed mental state that left him mute and paralyzed, drowning in the confusing memories and words that his brain kept repeating. “He has given my best friend something so precious. Ryo has fallen for him and protected him with his life and I trust his heart on that. You are a liar, Eiji. A horror. I saw who you are through your touch and I'd rather die than experience this again.”

 

Shota turned and looked at Ryo's dismayed face.

 

“Ryo, you have the power to do something. I felt it. Are you going to let him die after he gave you his life? What kind of human being are you?”

 

The howling wind outside engulfed the hut and slightly shook its walls, breaking the ice just enough for it to chime like broken crystal. Eiji took a step aside, moving Ohkura's trembling body around like a doll until he could grab his sword and unsheathe it.

 

“Ryo!!” Screamed Shota as loud as he could and the walls vibrated again. A storm was starting outside, making the whole building chant as if it were alive and crying. Ryo's eyes were closed and he slowly clenched his fists, as he let the anger devour him and allowed his sufferings to consume his heart until he felt the power rising in his gut. The hut moved again as if caught in an earthquake and inside his head, he heard Ohkura's deep and loving voice replacing the wind.

 

_You're as brave and as resilient as the Scorpion._

 

Ryo opened his eyes and the ice around them melted in the fire of his fury.

 

 

 


	9. Confusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, Shota is talking about "Haikyo" that is the Japanese term for "ruin" but is also used to talk about the hobby of exploring abandoned places (Urbex). It's a particularly popular hobby and there are many abandoned places in Japan that are visited by Japanese youth / young adult but also tourists.

The walls were shaking so hard that the hut could collapse anytime. The wind howled once again like a wounded wolf as Ryo was feeling life swell in his chest. He was raging mad, looking at Eiji through the steam that the melting ice was giving out, weirdly conscious of every tiny detail around him. The fluttering of a panicky moth's wings on the other side of the room, the tiny droplets of water dripping one by one, the ragged breaths coming out Ohkura's mouth, and the cracking of every wooden beam in the wobbly structure. It was a chaos of sounds and movements but despite his wrath, he stayed motionless, gathering all the rage he could in one powerful feeling that could end everything.

 

Eiji moved ever so slightly, letting the edge of his blade caress Ohkura's nape without haste, cutting some of his thick hair in the process. Once a few black curls had fallen at his feet he stepped on them and smiled. The sword went up in the air in one swift movement, knocked a stalactite and fell again towards Ohkura's neck.

 

_No!_

 

Ryo thought, and everything slowed down around him. He took a step, then two and walked to Eiji's blade that he hit with a forceful kick. The sword went swirling in the thick air and fell to the ground with a chiming sound. Time caught up with him again and he jumped on Eiji, grabbing his neck with two hands, not really sure anymore how to stop the other. They fell to the floor and rolled together until they hit the nearest wall with such force that it cracked and let the wind come in, in whistling and strong gusts.

 

“Let me go, Ryo! You can't kill me! I'm your ancestor!” Yelled Eiji from where he was, trapped against the broken wall.

 

“If I can't kill you, I'll make sure you will never see the light of the sun again.” He whispered, certain that in spite of all the commotion, Eiji had understood every single word. And the face the other made confirmed his feeling. He could see the rage but also the fear moving the immortal features like waves of electricity, gradually destroying any faith Eiji could have had in himself. Ryo was obviously stronger and that was a surprise to both of them. He tightened his grasp on his enemy's neck until he felt his trachea bend like a plastic pipe under pressure. But despite the blue tinge of his lips and his panicked eyes, Eiji kept living throughout the torture without even fainting. Ryo felt the neck cracking under the tip of his fingers and it was suddenly too much, too violent, definitely not him at all, this fury and thirst for murder. He released his grip and rolled away from Eiji who coughed hard, taking in large gulps of air.

 

“See...” He boasted with a dangerous smile, “You can't do it! You can't!” His piercing laugh was cut by an astounding blow to his head and he fell, knocked unconscious. Ohkura was standing next to him, holding a heavy beam as easily as he would swing a baseball bat, his breath short but a determined look in his dark eyes.

 

“ _We_ could, together.” He blurted out before turning to Ryo and Shota who was still watching everything in dismay. “We have to do something now. Find a solution. He'll wake up soon, and our chances will be over.”

 

Ryo stood and ran to him, brushing Ohkura's bangs off his eyes and forehead.

 

“Are you okay, Tadayoshi? I... I couldn't let him... He almost killed you!”

 

“Stay focused, Ryo. Please. We have to lock Eiji up somewhere no one will ever find him.”

 

“I.... don't know... I....”

 

In Ryo's head, the confusion was still reigning and he threw a helpless look at Eiji's limp body at his feet.

 

“There's an abandoned mine a few miles from here, on the road to Tokyo. It's really deep, and no one ever visits it. Too dangerous.” Shota's voice had sounded strangely assured all of a sudden, contrasting with the shock still visible on his face. “I've been there when I was younger and did Haikyo. Don't look at me like this, you two...”

 

“Alright so... I guess we have no other choice for now.” Ohkura added as he started searching for anything he could use to fasten Eiji's limbs together, something strong enough to resist his Immortal strength. The small recess was full of ropes and tools but none of them were actually useful. Ryo helped him in his search for lack of something else to do: at least he'd stop thinking too much about what he had almost done, kill someone. Even if Eiji was the bad guy, even if Ryo had been a detective for years, he still couldn't take someone's life.

 

_Ohkura has killed people._

 

He shook his head to get rid of the bloody images from Ohkura's memory that popped into his mind.

 

_Yumi ?_

 

“Found something!” Said the other, digging a heavy chain up from a corner of the room. The links were as big as his wrists and he winced under the weight of the metal but still pulled it with Shota's help until they could roll Eiji into it. It looked like the unconscious man was being strangled by a huge snake keeping him in its moving coils, breaking his bones at each turns it took around his chest and arms.

 

“Ryo... Help us, it's too heavy for two mortals like us.”

 

_Did he kill Yumi to get to me?_

 

“Ryo!” His shoulder was shaken and he came out of his daze again, before the concerned eyes of his companions.

 

“I... Yes. I'm sorry.”

 

The storm was still raging outside and the hut was bound to be destroyed shortly so they left the place without looking back, carrying their burden with pain. Ryo didn't really feel the weight but the two others, holding each one of Eiji's shoulders were struggling behind him.

 

The stars around were so bright they looked like thousands of lightning bugs close enough for him to touch. Antares was still shining high above his head and it somehow appeased him for a moment, relying on its warmth that reminded him of Ohkura's burning lips on him.

 

When they finally reached their vehicles, they threw the still unconscious Eiji in the trunk. Shota climbed behind the steering wheel and started the car.

 

“Tadayoshi... just a minute, please.” Ryo said grabbing the other's sleeve just before he climbed into the car in turn.

 

“Ryo...”

 

“I know, we don't have time, it's important and so on. But... I feel so bad. I don't know anymore. Tell me the truth.”

 

“The truth is... Oh Ryo...” Ohkura put a hand on the car, trying to support himself as his trembling legs started giving way under him. “The truth is that I desperately needed you for this task. You were happily married and oblivious of everything... The truth is that when she fell sick I rejoiced. Because I knew it was good for me and because I'd fallen for you. But I never did anything to her, I swear. I waited, yes, for you to mourn her properly but when you started behaving weirdly and Eiji approached, I did what I had to do. I started passing you the Gift. You were so eager, so strong... You are my miracle. I've been loving you for years, I've wanted you for years, I've waited for you. The only truth is that when Yumi died, I smiled.”

 

Ryo's heart burst in pain hearing that confession. His hand flew without his control and he slapped Ohkura who fell on his knees, shocked.

 

“Let's get rid of that scum. I'll decide about you later, Ohkura.” He concluded drily, climbing into the car and slamming its door.

 

*****************  
  
The entrance of the mine was a gloomy construction, a sort of temple to the gods of stones, throwing its reinforced concrete built columns towards the sky like teeth ready to bite the starry night. Those fangs made of stone were stained with long smears of rusty water, giving Ryo the impression that the mine-beast had the blood of its last victim still dripping fresh out of its mouth.

 

Shota parked the car very close to it and killed the engine in silence. Ohkura left the compartment without a word, acting automatically as if he were a simple robot. His eyes had lost their light somewhere on the way to the mine, as he was mulling over Ryo's words. The latter could feel in his flesh all the pain coming from his lover, all the desperation and questions he didn't dare ask, but he was way too angry to speak. Way too afraid to stop sulking, to accept Ohkura as who he was for real.

 

They opened the trunk and found Eiji awake and afraid, trying to get rid of his chains.

 

“What are you going to do with me? Don't lock me up please, _don't..._ ” His voice sounded like a little boy's imploring the school's bullies and Ryo doubted. Again. Seeing Ohkura and Shota taking Eiji out of the car and pulling his constrained body like a trash bag was giving him the chills. Who were they to treat someone like this, to even plan on immuring a living being?

 

A hand landed on his shoulder and soft fingers caressed his nape, warming up his body and killing the headache growing in him.

 

“Ryo... If you want me to disappear or to die after this, I'll go. But... He's manipulating you. You're sharing the same blood, he knows the way to your heart and talks to it directly. It's not pity that you're feeling, it's just him playing with you. Please listen to me one last time... We have to do it. And we won't succeed without you.”

 

Ryo let himself fall backward, just a little, enough to find contact with Ohkura's chest, vibrating with his deep voice. It felt once more perfect and his head followed the movement, falling softly on the other's shoulder.

 

“I'm sorry.” He whispered only for them, searching among the stars that were shining above them the luminous and burning eyes he'd fallen for. But he met only human orbs, of a brown so deep he could make out the remains of the roaring flames that had roamed them before.

 

Ohkura gave him a soft kiss in his hair, and doubt vanished completely, giving way to certainty.

 

“Alright. Let's do it.” Ryo said as he grabbed Eiji's feet, dragging him by himself and without much effort through the teeth of the mine-beast, despite all the struggle of his prisoner. Very soon the desperate screams of the tied up Immortal died swallowed in the stomach of the monster, after having gloomily echoed along its ruined walls.

 

****************  
  
After one or two hours of uncertain walk deep inside the deserted tunnels of the mine, they found a small round vault that had to have been used as a break room when the site was buzzing with life. Its door was a solid twenty inches thick iron panel that grated on its hinges when they opened it. It looked strong enough to contain Eiji's fury, at least for a few days, the time needed to find some better solution.

 

“Are you going to leave me here??” He squeaked again, weakened by the blows he had received earlier and the panic that was invading him.

 

“That's the plan. Don't even try to escape, I'll be keeping an eye on you.”

 

Ryo had sounded a lot more assured than he was for real but Ohkura's encouraging look gave him enough strength to dare to tie the loose end of the chain to a stone pillar.

 

“That's so weak of you Ryo... When you could get rid of that liar and reign over the world with me as your mentor?! It's not too late, you can...”

 

“Enough!! _Shut. Up_!!” The slap that shut Eiji up was so powerful that his head hit the pillar behind him with a thud and he passed out again, weaker than he had ever been.

 

“We have to go guys. I suggest we find some breeze blocks, concrete or dynamite, I don't know, but something that will help to keep him here forever.” Shota said, fully back to his practical self.

 

“I'll take care of that. You two, go home. I'll … contact you.”

 

Ohkura's frown showed Ryo how fake he had just sounded. He couldn't act for the sake of his life, he knew it, but he had hoped that in the confusion, the other would have bought his lie.

 

“But, Ryo... Let's...”

 

“No. Tadayoshi, you need to rest. Look at you... You look so worn out. I'll come back. One day. You can stay at my place.”

 

“No... I'm not leaving you here...” Ryo had never heard Ohkura's voice so sad, so pleading and it broke his heart but he had made a decision. He needed to grow up as an Immortal, he had to take on his mission and his own feelings, his own pleasure were not important anymore.

 

So he walked to the other and threw his arms around him, holding Ohkura's trembling chest the tightest he could, against his heart.

 

“If we don't cry it will be easier, my love. Please don't cry...”

 

But it was too late. Ohkura's eyes were already full of tears and himself felt sobs climbing up his chest.

 

“Go! Please, Shota, take care of him, I beg you.”

 

The next thing he knew, his best friend was dragging Ohkura far from him by the hand, their silhouettes slowly disappearing in the darkness of the corridors. It was cold in there, so cold. He shivered suddenly and noticed that a little frost was forming on his shirt. Ryo turned and his eyes met Eiji, awake and smiling cunningly.

 

“It's about time. We're finally alone, Ryo.”

 

 

 

 


	10. A Life Without Him

The alarm rang, blaring its beeps directly into Ohkura's left ear. He knocked the device off the nightstand and nuzzled into the pillow he had been holding all night. He was going to be late at work if he didn't move but each passing morning felt more difficult than the previous one. Six months spent acting as if he were a normal human being, undergoing the routine that every other standard person deemed comfortable. Nearly ten months since he had last seen Ryo, in that mine.

 

The longest ten months of his life. The worst.

 

Shota had found him a job at a library specialized in old manuscripts and History of Japan, which had proved to be an excellent idea. He kind of liked classifying the books and answering the questions of the students about this or that, things that he had seen with his own eyes or heard in his long life. But every night, he was alone, refusing Shota's invitations, locking himself up in Ryo's apartment and lying silently among the few shirts that were still giving out his lover's fragrance.

 

He had tried to go to the mine but every time he had gotten lost in the woods around as if the mine had been a dream, or rather a nightmare. Shota's condition had worsened a lot and he couldn't move anymore from his bed, weakening day after day and Ryo wasn't there.

 

He wasn't there to see Ohkura and Shota wither. To dry their tears or answer their questions.

 

At least, the murders had stopped. But Shota was not a detective anymore, anyway...

 

He put a foot on the floor and stretched his long limbs. It was still possible to be on time at work so he stood and went to take a shower. As he was drinking a coffee, he turned the TV on to get the news, fearing like every morning, to hear about Eiji. But that day again, nothing weird had happened and the human ants kept running everywhere without minding him, nor Ryo.

 

***************  
  
A drop of cold water fell on Ryo's forehead and it woke him up suddenly. He winced at the uncomfortable straw mattress under him and sat up, rubbing his eyes.

 

How many days had he spent sleeping this time? Three? Five? A week maybe?

 

On the other side of the iron door, he could hear Eiji's voice hum the same antic tune that he had been humming for months. Months without a coherent word exchanged with the monster he guarded, and still, Ryo kept being wary. What if it were a trap?

 

Eiji had tricked them once, the day they'd tied him up to that pillar, acting all afraid and childish. Only when Ohkura had left, things had changed, for the worst.

 

No, Ryo couldn't trust the beast behind the door. He had to stay. He had to keep an eye on him, it was his mission.

 

He let his hands roam his own cold arms, feeling the tip of his fingers caress the sensitive skin inside his forearms, crawling up to his shoulders. There, he imagined Ohkura's hands instead of his, and the other man's fingers were so warm and so soft.

 

The imaginary caress made Ryo purr softly when he recalled the beloved hands slightly scratching his scalp, and all of a sudden he could feel Ohkura's lips against his and the silky texture of his lover's skin against his chest. He gave in to a ghost kiss and sighed. It felt good, so good that he cried.

 

Behind the thick door of his prison, Eiji hummed the old-fashioned tune again, louder. As if he knew what was in Ryo's mind as if he knew precisely how to destroy the only tiny remains of sanity Ryo was still clinging to.

 

******************  
  
… _Local news now, the government has forbidden the access to a mining site, West of Tokyo. After the series of earthquakes that have shaken the prefecture last month, it seems that this mine, abandoned since 1997, has collapsed on itself. There are supposedly no victims, but policemen are still searching the site. It has been known as an Urban exploration spot but chances are small that some explorers were in the mine when it collapsed. Tomorrow, the sun will shine and the temperature...._

 

Ohkura let his glass of juice fall on the tiled floor of the kitchen. He kept staring at the screen, trying to rewind in his head what he had just heard.

 

The mine.

 

Ryo. Where was he?

 

He had never felt so much fear than at that moment, when he realized that maybe Ryo was buried deep under thousands of tons of rock, along with Eiji. That maybe, he wouldn't be able to return as he had promised. And would be living his eternity as the prisoner of this gloomy place.

 

It was too much for Ohkura and he slowly fell on the cold floor forgetting the shards of the broken glass and the juice still scattered across the kitchen. He could feel all the anxiety, all the sadness accumulated within the last months coming out in violent tremors. It felt so rough, so unexpected that he couldn't even cry.

 

Ohkura had been able to live through those terrible months because somewhere, deep in him, he knew that Ryo would return. That he'd be able to hold him in his arms again. But now... What had been the point of living such a long life, to finish it this way, alone, abandoned after having buried all the persons who ever counted for him?

 

He took his phone and dialed Shota's number. There was a long silence, a click and then the stretched beep of a line failure. So he tried again, and again, and every time the result was the same: Shota's line had been cut. The emptiness in Ohkura's heart widened as he let his hands fall to his sides, powerless.

 

He could as well wait for death on the floor of this kitchen, and no one would ever know.

 

****************  
  
The ground shook again in large and noisy waves. It lasted a few seconds, thirty maybe, but the cave above Ryo's head started giving in. It was the third tremor in a couple of days and every time it happened, Eiji laughed, like a mad man, making the mine echo with his hysterical voice.

 

“Shut up!!!” Ryo screamed as he hit the door with his clenched fists. “Shut. Up.”

 

Some rocks fell from the ceiling with a cloud of dust and the world stopped moving suddenly. Eiji remained silent for a second, as if waiting for another quake and started singing again when it proved to have settled for a bit.

 

They couldn't stay like this. Ryo had to do something before turning completely crazy. The sacrifice was not worth it anymore.

 

So he took a bag he'd found a few weeks earlier in a vault nearby and checked that the door containing his prisoner was still strong on its hinges. He left then, walking in almost complete darkness through corridors he hadn't yet explored. It took him hours, days maybe, he couldn't say, but the earth shook twice as he was walking and the mine almost collapsed where he was. Thank God Ohkura had given him enough strength to support some parts of the ceiling as he waited for the earthquakes to stop.

 

He hadn't eaten in months and felt skinnier than he had ever been but strangely, he wouldn't die nor tire, feeling the power of immortality supporting him through the torture of constantly having an empty stomach. A drop of dirty water and he was good to go. Five minutes of sleep and he could walk for hours. He felt like a machine, like those Victorian automatons he'd seen in a museum of London during one of his trips with Yumi. Dry, made of metal and leather, winded up at its maximum and running everywhere without a soul.

 

After having lost himself countless times, he finally found a small room in which some stuff had been left. Stuff that he was looking for. Explosives. Lots of them... damp, kept in rusty boxes but still good enough to at least try something.

 

He took as many as he could and stuffed them in his bag, along with fuses and an old blowtorch that still had gas in its reservoir. The way back to Eiji felt shorter and less difficult, mostly because he finally could see a solution to his problem. He would blow the entire mine up and with a little luck, he would escape in time.

 

If he didn't, well, he hoped that the explosion's shock wave would knock him unconscious for the next five centuries. Or at least until Ohkura died and there wouldn't be anything left on this earth for him to regret.

 

*****************  
  
When Ohkura opened the door to his place – _Ryo's place_ – the light was on and his heart soared in happiness for a split second before he remembered having left it this way before leaving to go check on Shota.

 

Ryo's friend hadn't been at his apartment, which was entirely closed as if it hadn't been occupied for months. The last time Ohkura had visited the place, three or four months ago, Shota was still living there and hadn't told him anything about moving. Shota could be dead, for all he knew. What kind of man has he been to leave his love's best friend by himself to face death?

 

 _You are just a despicable, miserable chunk of walking flesh,_ he thought, throwing his bag on the floor.

 

He turned the TV on, and channel hopped until he found a news report. After the usual politics and environmental matters, the anchorman finally talked about the mine, only to say that searches for potential victims had been cut and that the site would remain forbidden to anyone.

 

Ohkura turned the TV off and went to bed, suffering way too much to utter a cry or to scream. The next day would be his last, he had made his decision.

 

But his last night, he wanted to spend it in the only place that felt good on this earth: in Ryo's arms. So he took the other's abandoned shirts, put them on and surrounded himself with the things that reminded him of his lost lover. That reminded him the person he'd waited for and loved, for years.

 

****************  
  
The night was filled with dreams and nightmares, making him delirious and restless, moving around on the bed as if he were a puppet manipulated by some powerful entity. He dreamed about Yokoyama, his kind smile, and his hands, so soft and loving. His words, that had shaped him as an immortal. The devotion that he could see in his master's eyes everytime they were embraced, every time immortality had made its way deeper into him through the dizzying caresses he'd been given.

 

He saw Ryo, too. His dark eyes, his black hair and his beauty. The fragility he'd shown, as well as his strength. And the tremendous feeling of taking possession of the person he'd craved for so long, of being finally loved in return as an equal, as a human being, for his flaws as much as for his force.

 

Yokoyama had loved him as he would have worshiped a god.

 

Ryo had loved him, utterly. He had given him his life without hesitation, and even in the doubts, love had been so palpable between them that it still warmed up his heart and body.

 

In the maze of his dreams, he felt a kiss, soft, tender, pressed again his tensed nape. And then a hand that softly climbed along his side and settled on his waist. It felt warm and so good that he turned on his back to let the fantasy unfurl, to feel more of that dream, physically. The hand moved to his stomach and its fingers contracted slightly as if seized by a shiver then climbed again towards his chest, in a caress that made Ohkura shake with pleasure. A sigh escaped his lips and it seemed to him that it was warm suddenly, that he was not alone anymore in that bed.

 

Someone was there. Someone whose lips grazed his jaw, trembling.

 

He didn't want to open his eyes and realize that all this had been just a dream. He wanted it to go on until the end of his last night. But curiosity won over the fear and he cracked his eyes open, just a tad, enough to make out the outline of the furniture in the room and the pale light that the moon was giving out.

 

“Tadayoshi, it's me. Wake up my love...” The presence next to him whispered in his ear and the sound of its voice made Ohkura shake even more. A voice so soft and so beautiful... There was only one like this existing in this time and place.

 

And the hell if it was just a dream, just a fantasy, he would give into Ryo's ghost and hoped he would die from too much love.

 

“Ryo...” He whispered as well, faltering. “Is that you?”

 

“Yes. I've returned. Open your eyes, look at me.”

 

Ohkura turned on himself to face the presence and saw. His features outlined by the blue pallor of the moonlight, Ryo was here, with him, very much alive and tenderly smiling.

 

“Oh, Ryo, how come...?”

 

“Some things are better left unexplained for now, my love.”

 

They kissed relentlessly, abusing each other's mouths and skins until they felt again one and indivisible, postponing all the questions and sufferings to the daylight. When ecstasy seized them both, together, they cried and held each other so tightly their bodies hurt.

 

But nothing could make them let go. For nothing was more powerful at this moment than their love.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the super angsty atmosphere!! I hope you'll enjoy reading this chapter and will still want to continue on with the boys...


	11. Reunions

Dawn fell upon them, tangled under the white bed sheets, looking at each other's eyes endlessly. Silence had been the rule all night after the ragged breaths and the pleasure moans that had rhythmed their reunion. A silence full of fascination, of disbelief even, when Ohkura had dared caress Ryo's lips with his thumb, softly, as if trying to touch a vision. They found in each other's irises the nuances of love and longing, all the words they couldn't have exchanged for months and the answers to the simplest questions.

 

_Did you miss me? Yes, so much._

 

_Do you still love me? I'll love you until my last breath._

 

When the light finally hit their tired eyes through the whiteness of the sheets they still didn't let go, marveling at the sight of their smiles and features, never satiated of the dream they were living. When Ryo squinted a bit, dazzled by the powerful sun, Ohkura let a little laugh escape him and claimed the other's lips passionately, almost hungrily, as if none of the previous night's embraces had happened.

 

“I'm not dreaming anymore.” He confirmed, naughtily biting his lover's lower lip.

 

“No, you're not. Am I, though?”

 

“No. I'm real... and so hungry for you...” They exchanged another needy kiss, another embrace that lead them almost to the point of no return, to the point when their bodies would lead the dance again, not caring about all the unresolved questions.

 

“Tadayoshi... I... I'm sorry I wasn't with you.”

 

“I'm sorry I let you face Eiji by yourself.”

 

“He sang. All the time, so much, like a broken automaton. I... I was turning crazy, I had to do something.”

 

“What did you do?”

 

“I blew the damn place up. And then I ran, so fast. And somehow, I woke up outside, and he was not singing anymore.”

 

“Oh, Ryo, I was so afraid you were buried in there with him... I would have died rather than live without you for another year.”

 

Ryo looked at Ohkura solemnly, suddenly realizing that it could have been too late, that he could have found the other dead. That all that waiting and guarding in the darkness would have been useless.

 

“Tadayoshi... I didn't stay there for the sake of humanity. I stayed because I wanted you to live peacefully, finally rid of that scum. I did it for you.”

 

“I know... But now that you're here, with me, I'll never let go of your hand. Never.”

 

“We'll die together, then...”

 

Ohkura frowned then, not really sure how to interpret those words, but very soon Ryo's lips were grazing his neck and his hands were pulling his body to him, making their hips clash softly, sensually, turning his mind cloudy enough to yield in one powerful moan.

 

****************  
  
“Did you _see_ someone else?” Ryo asked, trying to sound very casual. But Ohkura could see in his lover's nervous fidgeting that it was not a light question. The other was standing shirtless next to the bed, back from a shower that had apparently made him think.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“You're so... so attractive.” He sat next to Ohkura and let his hand roam over the curves of the body that was offered to him, muscular and soft at the same time, discovering for the first time how much he was physically attracted to it. That he was jealous of anyone who could have seen what he was currently seeing. Their love hadn't been just spiritual, he thought, it was a lot more complex. The chemistry between them was working on several levels that he had ignored at first. The other softly moaned at the touch and closed his eyes, smiling. “... So attractive. You could have met someone, while I was... away. It's not like you were sure that I would come back.”

 

“You are jealous... That's unexpected.” Ohkura purred, still savoring the caresses that gradually turned bolder.

 

“You shaved...” Ryo stated as if it could be a legit proof of betrayal.

 

“Yes. They wouldn't let me have a beard at the library. 'Said it looked gross.” He moaned, then, a little louder, when Ryo's palm followed the curve of his hip and lower back, slowly traveling down to the inside of his thigh. “And, no. I never _saw_ anyone.”

 

“The library, hmm.”

 

“Yes, Shota found that job for me.”

 

“He's told me. It was a great idea...” Ryo bent and pressed a kiss on Ohkura's shoulder.

 

“... He's _told you_? How come?”

 

The hand stopped right where it was fondling the sensitive skin and the silence fell on the room. Ohkura sat up and gave Ryo a look the latter dreaded among all... Doubt. Hurt.

 

“Did you contact him in any way, Ryo, while you were at the mine? Why him and not me?”

 

There were so many things Ryo had wanted to talk about before having to explain this, so many. But a tiny mistake, a short sentence absentmindedly uttered had shattered their moment of peace. The other was already crying and looked so pitiful. So he leaned in and gave him a kiss, asking for forgiveness.

 

“This kiss, did it feel like before? And last night... Did it feel like before, Tadayoshi?”

 

“Yes... No... It was different but... We've not seen each other for months and...”

 

“It's not just that. You're a mortal, now, you should feel something weird with me, right? Some burning pain, visions. I remember how it has been for me when I've met you.”

 

He touched his lover again as if to prove his point. His hand settled on Ohkura's nape and pulled his lips to him, for another kiss, a lot slower and sensual, sending waves of pleasure through their bodies.

 

“So, how did it feel?”

 

“Good. So good... But... Human.”

 

“It is, my love. I'm not an Immortal anymore. Because what would be the point of living forever without you?”

 

******************

  
_Four days earlier_

 

 

 

 

Ryo rang the bell to Shota's door at least thrice before he saw it moving slightly on its hinges.

 

“Who's there?” Asked a tired voice.

 

“It's me, Ryo.”

 

“... Ryo?”

 

The door opened, revealing his friend's tiny silhouette. He looked particularly small and skinny, weakened by illness. Shota shook and smiled, falling into Ryo's arms, tightly hugging him.

 

“You're here, it's you...” he whispered against his friend's chest. “I'm so glad I could see you again. Where's Tadayoshi?”

 

“He doesn't know yet. I have to do something first... May I speak to you?”

 

“Sure... Come in. Don't mind the mess, really. I'm too tired to clean.”

 

Ryo stepped into his friend's apartment and closed the door behind him. It was not as tidy as it used to be when Shota had been well but it looked way cleaner and safe than the mine he'd lived in for months.

 

“You're covered in mud and dust, Ryo... Did you come directly from the mine? Are you okay?”

It was really like him to worry about his friend's comfort when he obviously had more terrible matter to deal with at the moment.

 

“I... don't know exactly. I escaped from that hell and fainted several times. Someone was kind enough to bring me back to Tokyo and I came directly here. Eiji is buried under the rubble, for now. But it won't hold him long. I'm sure he'll manage to escape and... Someone needs to be there when he does.” Ryo sat on the sofa and remained silent for a few minutes, looking at his dirty hands, marked with bloodstains. “... And I can't, Shota. I can't go back. I'm not...”

 

He took his head in his hands and sobbed loudly, letting all the tension go.

 

“I'm not made for it.” Ryo finally confessed with a tiny voice. “Tadayoshi has failed, I've failed... The only person capable of succeeding with that thankless task, courageous and virtuous enough... It's you. I've thought a lot, you see, in that mine, and I couldn't see any solution. It seems I can't hurt people, even the worst. Tadayoshi was too weak to do it. We need someone else, you, my friend.”

 

“But Ryo... I'm dying.”

 

“I'll give you my life if you accept the deal. I don't want to live forever if it's to see the people I love suffer. I don't want to live forever if it's to guard Eiji. If you die. If Tadayoshi _dies_.”

 

Shota stayed still, his eyes wide open at the offer Ryo had just made.

 

“The only person worthy of the eternal life, with enough love and respect for humanity to protect it... is you. The process will be painful, it may even fail. You may die. But if it succeeds...”

 

“I don't know what to say. It's a weird present, I'm so tired. I don't know...”

 

“Please consider it. Please.” Ryo's begging voice hurt Shota way more than he would have imagined. The ex-detective was already thinking, he could see it at his focused expression and the random pen he was absentmindedly playing with.

 

“How about we start with you taking a shower, having a good meal and a night of regular sleep? Eiji won't come out tonight. Won't you call Tadayoshi? I'm worried, he's not answering any of my calls lately.”

 

“I can feel his heart beating and I can hear his cries. He's alive. I'll go to him when I'll be a mortal again, or never.”

 

****************  
  
“Did he make it, Ryo? Did he??”

 

“Yes.”

 

Ryo felt his lover's heart pound against his temple. Somehow he feared that Ohkura would love him less as who he was now. A mere mortal, uninteresting and fragile, too weak to accept a mission, too craven to live as an immortal for more than a year. So he cuddled closer against the larger body, tightening his grasp around Ohkura's waist and nervously closed his eyes, waiting for the sentence.

 

“I'm not the hero you thought I would be. I couldn't do it in the end. I'm sorry.”

 

Ohkura said nothing, and Ryo's heart shattered a little more. He could feel his lover's fingers nervously clenching the fabric of his shirt and the loud beatings encased in his rib cage, like a threat growing second after second, the threat of a storm so powerful it would definitely break them.

 

One of Ohkura's hands searched for his jaw, caressing, and lifted his chin until they could look into each other's eyes.

 

“I'm sorry for having dragged you into this, Ryo. It's all my fault. I've made wrong moves all my life. And you suffered so much because of me.”

 

“Do you consider that falling for me was a wrong move, then?”

 

“... No. As long as you still want me by your side, I'll consider it as the most beautiful move I've ever made.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Talkative chapter!!! The next will be the last one of our story, I hope you enjoyed ;-)


	12. Never Say Never

The water drops were falling rhythmically on the cold rocks around him.

 

_Plip. Plip. Plip. Plop._

 

The sound was disturbing, taking over his mind, turning him crazy.

 

It sounded like the drum beat of the song Eiji was humming endlessly, the two noises completing each other perfectly as if to consciously sneak into his head and never leave.

 

He tried to cover his ears with his palms, pressing there as strongly as he could, until it hurt. But the sound was still there, and the water drops pitapat slowly changed into a voice, clearly audible, a voice that was mockingly singing lyrics over the melody Eiji was repeating.

 

' _He's gonna die, your love_

_He's gonna forget you, at best_

_He's gonna die, your friend_

_And forever for you, no rest.'_

 

The cold was seizing him and he wriggled a bit on his straw mattress. If this was a nightmare, it could end. It had to, quickly.

 

He heard a bird squeaking strongly over his head and the nightmare dissolved into the breeze that was caressing his body. It took a little while to go, but when Ryo finally opened his eyes, he was on the wooden deck of a villa, facing impressive cliffs that were plunging into the Mediterranean sea. The sun was low, giving the world around him colors so vivid it dazzled him a for a little while.

 

Next to him, the swimming pool was making its usual water noises, gurgles and splashes and he sighed in relief.

 

*****************  
  


The strong gush of warm wind messed up Ohkura's thick and curly hair when he stepped on the deck where Ryo was finally half-napping, half-observing the sea birds nesting on the rocks. He looked younger than ever with his shorter cut and without the mustache that had made him so mysterious to Ryo's eyes when they'd first met. As a mortal, Ohkura was doing pretty well. Way better than himself, if you asked for his opinion. His lover had developed quite a taste for modern life and enjoyed it to its fullest while Ryo was still pursued by his night terrors and a melancholia so strong he was afraid it could put the other off in the end.

 

Their secret was still theirs. And it would remain theirs until the grave.

 

“Still looking at the birds?” Ohkura asked as he sat on the deck chair next to him.

 

“Yeah. There are lots of babies. It's cute.”

 

He grinned, naturally, without even forcing himself, and it felt good. His lover grinned back to him and leaned to kiss the corner of his lips.

 

“It's the first time I hear you say 'cute'. It's cute.”

 

“Moron.”

 

“I know...”

 

Their hands found each other between the deck chairs and Ohkura gave a bored look at the seabirds. After a little while, he cleared his throat.

 

“Still... It's just stupid birds.”

 

“Gosh, you're _so_ down to earth. It's not just birds, it's Nature. Life Cycle. Some of them just came to this world, some of them are dying. It's the same as humans, the same as us.”

 

“Except they can fly...”

 

“... Whatever.” They exchanged a meaningful look and a smile that ended in laughter, simple and comfortable.

 

“Ryo... Tomorrow, we're heading back to Tokyo. Why are we even going back? Isn't that place perfect?”

 

“We need to check on Shota. Last time we saw him he was alright but I'm not at peace unless we see him regularly, you know that.”

 

“You're never at peace anyway...” Ohkura muttered, almost only for himself.

 

“I'm sorry.”

 

“What for?”

 

“I'm not the funniest guy on earth... You've certainly lived with people more interesting than me.”

 

He squeezed Ohkura's hand lightly.

 

“Ryo... The only person I want to be with is you. The only moments I want to live now are the moments spent in your arms. Will you blame me?”

 

Ryo turned slightly and looked at the other with a smile. He gestured a little, opening his arms for Ohkura to come and settle between them.

 

“Come here, Babe. Please.”

 

Ohkura left his chair and joined Ryo onto his, sitting between his legs and leaning back until his head rested on his lover's chest. When Ryo's arms hugged him from behind, he sighed.

 

“I want to spend the rest of my life here, on that deck with you...”

 

Ryo snorted.

 

“Even if it means looking at stupid birds forever?”

 

“Well, technically, it won't be forever, and...” Ohkura turned completely so he was on top of the other, looking straight into his eyes. Ryo could swear that at those moments, the fire he'd seen in those eyes when they'd met, this fire was still there, deep down, set ablaze only by their most tender contacts.

 

“And?” He encouraged him, who seemed to have lost himself into Ryo's eyes.

 

“... And it would be a pity to dedicate our last moments here only to birds...” He kissed Ryo hungrily on the mouth, as his hands were slowly unbuttoning his shirt. “Let me show you...”

 

His voice was low and fascinating, sending shivers through Ryo's muscles and bones. Ohkura's fingers finally reached his skin and lightly caressed his chest, making him his willing slave with a few touches. His own hands slipped under Ohkura's shorts waistband and grazed the delicate skin there before pulling the other's hips to him to annihilate any space that could separate them.

 

When their bodies were eventually rid of all those fabrics that were in their way, it felt incredibly fresh everywhere they were not making contact. The sun was setting on the horizon, making the sea, that was swallowing it whole, shine like a gem. The wind had softened, raising all the small hairs on their arms.

 

Ohkura's hot lips settled in the crook of his neck as he languorously thrust into him, slow but strong, and the tiny whimpers of pleasure he let go made Ryo eager for more. He suddenly wanted to be deafened by his lover's moans, to get overwhelmed by the sensations, to get drunk on the other's love. His hands went up and he grabbed Ohkura's head to pull him up for a kiss, murmuring how much he wanted him against his mouth, biting and licking the luscious lips until they finally moaned loudly in unison.

 

“Oh, Babe... _Harder_... _Please_...” He whispered in their kiss, trembling. And Ohkura willingly complied, steadying himself between Ryo's thighs and clenching them with his large hands so firmly the skin turned white around his fingers. Ryo felt his heart blow up as the hotness in his belly reached a surreal intensity and finally, everything felt like their first time. The electricity between them, the delicious burn of every kiss Ohkura planted on his sensitive skin, the tremors he felt in him with every thrust, the tears he shed at every beautiful moan the other was rewarding his upward thrusts with...

 

The sun, the wind, the birds, nothing existed for them anymore and Ryo thought, that yes, for a short moment, just for those minutes when they were literally making love, life was the most beautiful thing ever.

 

The mine had never been so far, and the harassing noises of his madness belonged entirely there, to that nightmarish place that was his past. Nothing had ever felt so tangible, so real and fragile as the body of the man he loved, that he held against his heart tighter every second, his fingernails digging into the other's tender flesh possessively.

 

In their present, everything was perfect, and Ohkura's eyes were burning a fire so gorgeous that Ryo unconditionally abandoned himself to the flames until their blazing desire was entirely consumed.

 

****************

  
Shota was sitting on a rock, detaching himself off the blue sky of summer. His hair was white as if it had been bleached for good, moving slightly at every breeze. His blue eyes were lost in the distance, looking at the ruins of the mine, a dozen miles from his observation point. When he caught a glimpse of the two men walking to him in the middle of the forest, he smiled and jumped off his rock to run at them.

 

“Ryo!! Tadayoshi! How are you doing?” He yelled from afar before hugging them both.

 

“Good, we're doing good, my friend. How about you?”

 

Shota's eyes were slightly blurred by the tears, but he was giving them a smile, the purest and warmest smile one could ever see.

 

“I'm... good, too. You know, now that I have the cabin here, it's a lot better. Eiji is very quiet now. He screamed a bit, two months ago, but I bet he's so weak that he can't move anymore under the rubble. He knows who I am. He speaks to me sometimes, when I'm close to the mine... He's so afraid.”

 

“Won't you come with us to Tokyo for a little while? You deserve some rest.” Ohkura hurriedly suggested, as if he were feeling guilty of something.

 

“No. I'm good. For real. How about you two come over for the night? We have so many things to talk about...”

 

“We're here for you, Sho-chan. If we can do anything...”

 

“Don't say things you'll regret later, Ryo. I just need to talk to people who know what I am, now. The rest, the people around... They're too afraid of the blue eyed weirdo who lives in the woods.” Shota laughed at that, a nervous and high pitched laugh that both made them uneasy.

 

“We'll stay as long as you need. We owe you so much.”

 

“Let's not talk about who owes something to the other. Because if I'm not mistaken, you've given me your life. And that, I'll never be able to repay.”

 

He smiled then, a bright and genuine smile that was contagious. And everything around them looked brighter, more colorful. Shota had that power in him. He was made for life, he was Life itself, Ryo had never doubted that. So he turned toward Ohkura and firmly took his hand to follow their friend.

 

*****************  
  
“That's a nice place you've built yourself here.”

 

“It is. You know that I've sold my apartment in Tokyo... The last thing that has happened there wasn't exactly what I call a nice moment. Anyway, I had enough money to arrange something comfortable here.”

 

“Shota... I... I'm so sorry.”

 

There was a silence between them three that lasted a little too long to be comfortable. Ryo had murmured an unexpected apology and Shota was a bit taken aback by the sudden serious tone it had cast on their conversation. Ohkura cleared his throat and looked around, embarrassed. He gathered his courage up and after a deep sigh finally asked the two friends what had been brewing in him for months.

 

“Won't... Won't you finally tell me what has happened, then?” Silence. The ticking of the old fashioned clock hanging on the wall invaded the atmosphere, heavier than ever. “How did you even survive the Gift? I... I'm not a child, I survived it, barely. I fought for four hundred years and one day, closer than ever, I'm going to die. I'm just curious. I... want to know how... with Ryo...”

 

“We did not...” whispered Ryo softly, trying to take his lover's hand.

 

“I was dying. I was so tired. We closed all the windows and the door, cut the telephone and the internet, threw my most precious belongings to the trash bin. I had to become a new person, nothing could exist between me and the new life Ryo had offered me.” Shota cleared his throat. “It felt like a ritual, like a prayer to whichever deity is looking after us. It felt good, at first. We talked, so much. For an entire day. And then Ryo took my hands and it started burning so hard... I thought I was going to die, that death was sneaking into me through his fingers relentlessly, conquering my body and soul inches after inches. I cried and screamed a lot. It was tearing my insides apart but he wouldn't let go of my hands and his eyes were so red as if he were crying tears of blood. It was horrible. A nightmare made real. I passed out. Once, twice maybe more, I don't remember. But two or three days later I woke up again, alive. All this to say, Tadayoshi, that love isn't necessary to pass the Gift. Willpower is. Motivation. I've seen your memories passing through me with it, and if I may...”

 

Shota looked at the other with a little smile full of wit and tenderness. Ohkura could see in his pale blue eyes that he'd said the truth, that he wouldn't lie. There was no point in lying anymore, as he was the most powerful human being on this earth.

 

“Yes?”

 

“Your heart is so full of love. It has always been. And it has been a torture for you throughout all those years for love hurts you more than anything. This Challenge that you've received from your master, you've not failed it. Somehow, through the chain our three souls have formed, you've succeeded. Eiji is now under control and I'm here, to keep an eye on him. It's your chance, now. Enjoy the life you have and let love be the most delicious thing ever for you. And same goes for you, my friend. Please leave the past behind.” Shota added finally, turning to Ryo.

 

“How can you be so selfless? So strong?” He asked, puzzled. “Are you a hero or something?”

 

“I just believe that I was made to meet you both and to receive this mission. You can call me a hero if you like the sound of it.” He laughed, serenely and beautifully. It made the others laugh too, and all the worries died with Shota's thoughtful words.

 

 

****************  
  
The sun was disappearing slowly, setting the skyscrapers of the metropolis ablaze. They were walking hand in hand, enjoying the fresh breeze of the evening.

 

“So. What are we going to do, now?” Ryo asked softly.

 

“Live? Love?...”Ohkura suggested with a cheeky smile. He bent just a little and pressed a fleeting kiss on Ryo's neck. “That's what he's told us to do, right?”

 

“Tadayoshi... All this for... what, in the end? All these sufferings, these doubts. Yumi, Shota's illness, your endless wandering through life, Eiji's madness, the months I've spent shut off in the mine. What does that all mean now, at the end of this perfect day of summer?”

 

“I don't know. Aren't these just turns and roads and paths we had to take to finally be able to serenely hold hands tonight? Is there even an answer? For as far as I'm concerned, being with you is the most beautiful thing that has ever happened to me. I'm almost forgetting all the sufferings in your arms. A few more kisses and I think I'll be entirely free of them...” Ohkura said as he stopped walking and pushed Ryo slightly against the guardrail running all along the quay they were strolling. He kissed him fully then, ignorant of the disapproving looks they were getting from the passers by.

 

“Hey, what are you doing?” Ryo whispered against his lips, faking shyness. His cheeks were a light shade of pink, but Ohkura knew it was not from embarrassment but more from the insane heat that was still rising from their most intimate contacts.

 

“Let them stare. I love you.”

 

“... I never thought that I'd be able to say that again to someone, you know. But... I love you more than anything, Tadayoshi.”

 

“Well... Never say never...”

 

And Ohkura claimed his lover's lips again for a kiss. He knew that for Ryo, the road to complete recovery would be long and tricky and that deep down, the trauma was still there, lurking. But he also knew that it was his new mission, a challenge he was able to meet, this time, before they both saw their last days coming.

He would love Ryo so much, so unconditionally that, together, they would be able to make peace with Life.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is how our story ends. It's not the end for them, not even for Eiji. But they're on their way to recovery and I want to believe that Shota will be the perfect Hero here and our two lovebirds will keep supporting him as long as they're alive.  
> I wanted this last chapter to be named after Yasu's song and, well did a little something here with the three notions he wanted to enhance in his lyrics. I hope you saw that ;-)


End file.
